Today's rambling: My father, the ass
Written on June 5, 2001 at 2:49 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Hrmm...well, technically I should be saying that all this happened yesterday, since it's now almost 3 in the morning, but because that would end up confusing me, we're going to all pretend that it's still yesterday, so that I can refer to everything as 'today'. *grins* Make sense? Good, let us continue.

I finally got to see Mel and Tiff today...I missed not going out with them! We didn't do too much tonight -- watched 'Bootmen' (I'm sorry to sound like a raging hormones sort of girl, but Adam Garcia is just a cutie.), played Super Nintendo (yes, I still have that game system!), and then went over to Tiff's house so we could take a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to be out for a change! Even though I usually get ignored on the nightly walks (because Mel just goes straight over to Tiff's house when she gets off work), when I DO get included it's cool. ;)

Of course, I couldn't have a completely happy night. Something always has to come screw things up, and tonight that 'something' was my father. Or, more specifically, an email FROM him. I wrote him a few days ago and told him how FURIOUS I was with him, and that I couldn't believe he would trust that tramp he's with now over my mother. However, my biggest problem is that I can 'dish it out,' but I can't take it. So I'd been dreading his reply (thinking that he'd totally yell at me and put me down and stuff...I wouldn't put that past him), but Mum said she'd read it for me. I really really REALLY wish now that I hadn't been so chicken and had read it before her, because he TRASHED her in that email. He said it was Mum that was the slut, and that she was a money-grubber and all this other utterly RIDICULOUS stuff (my Mum is like the best person on the face of the planet, so what he said was completely false)...he went on to say that his little penny whore was 'twice the woman Mum is' (Yeah, maybe in SIZE), and all this other stupid stuff.

I almost didn't go on that walk with Mel and Tiff because I wanted to stay home with Mum! I knew she'd end up crying or something after I left, because it was obvious that she was really affected by what he'd said. And who wouldn't be? But I keep telling her not to believe a WORD of what he says, because he's not worth it. He's striking out because not only does he know he's done something wrong, but I think he also realizes that he's perilously close to losing everything. Hell, I'm basically ready to tell him that I want nothing to do with him ever again. I don't even know him anymore! He's not my father, he's some stranger that's taken my real father's place. I mean, I've already renounced his side of the family (Mum's side of the family is all I care about), so why not just include him with the whole tainted lot?

Bleh. If I saw him right now, I don't know if I would just coldy ignore him or beat the snot out of him. I'm just so angry and betrayed! The most I can hope for is that someday he'll be betrayed by that woman, so that he knows what it feels like. I'm not the sort to wish violence or sickness on anyone (even though I'd like to kick him, and I'd probably kick her, too), but I think betrayal is every bit as painful as anything else I could wish for him.

But enough about him, because he's not worth all the space I've devoted to his sorry bum anyway! Even though I'm sure nobody's reading this, if you are you should take some time out to look at the gorgeous graphics adorning my pages! I'm still in awe over them, LoL! I don't know why, I just think they're so pretty! I love purple, it's my favorite color, but the faerie's so pretty! *giggles* Okay, I'll stop going on about that before people think I'm odd. Hey, I am odd, but in a good way! ;)

I need to start up on my Tae-Bo again tomorrow...I bought the videos so I could exercise and lose weight and stuff, but I only used the instructional one once...and I haven't used any of the others! I guess it's because I was so pathetic at it the time I tried! And I know that that's no reason to just quit, but I'm a little too perfectionistic with things, hehe...if I don't get it perfect the first time, then I get discouraged and don't want to do it anymore! But I paid for these darned videos, and they've been sitting next to my computer for ages, and the only way I'm going to be able to stop complaining about my pudgy figure is if I do something to get rid of it!!! I was so bad down in Florida...I hate to wear shorts as it is, but down there I changed clothes like two or three times every day because I kept thinking that I looked horrible in everything I put on! Bah...definitely need to start doing something about it!

(And if anyone is like me and is wondering where that rant came from...I don't know, hehe)

I'm starting to get tired now. I should probably go to bed...I didn't get to bed until after 5 in the morning the night before! I'm back in my old sleeping pattern again, which is good because now I can talk to Janette again, but it's bad because I can't keep going to sleep so late! Bah! I'm just moving to Australia, that's all there is to it. Then not only do I not have to worry about jet lag (because I sleep during Australia's sleeping hours anyway), but I won't have to worry about staying up late to talk to her! ;)

Speaking of Janette, now we're talking about Slipper and the Rose (basically my favorite movie ever), and it's making me want to watch it again! Hehehe...I actually haven't seen it for awhile, but it's way too late to be watching it right now! It's such a romantic sort of movie...well, it's a Cinderella story, so I guess it would be kind of romantic! ;) It's a little bit different from the normal Cinderella story in that after the prince finds her, they go back to the palace but the king tells his advisor that the marriage can't happen because the prince needs to make a marriage of alliance. So Cinderella is made to leave in the middle of the night (she goes willingly, but asks that the advisor tell the prince that she was a bad person, so that he won't pine away for her or anything), and the prince makes his 'precious marriage of alliance' (direct quote...I haven't watched it that often, have I? ;)...but the fairy godmother finds Cinderella and brings her back just in time. Cinderella crashes the wedding (not literally, but she does stop it, hehe), and she and the prince get back together...and the woman he was supposed to marry conveniently falls in love with this duke guy, so all is well. *giggles* Argh, now I REALLY feel like watching it!!!!! Maybe I will anyway...no, it's too late! *shakes her head slowly* I'm arguing with myself. That's so pathetic.

I don't think there's anything else to talk about. Yeah, I'm pretty much through! I halfway wish the day wasn't over, because I got to wear my new Adidas shirt today and it's so cute that I don't want to take it off! *laughs* And I wore my new Adidas sneakers today, too...Adidas is just cool. I like the three-stripes thing, hee hee! ;)

And now that I've said that, I'm definitely stopping! I'm so tired, I think I'm really going to have to call it a night, period! Blah! Oh well, I'm going! *fades away*