Today's rambling: Quiet
Written on Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2005 at 10:14 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I went to see a play tonight, and even though it let out a little before ten, Main Street is pretty much dead. So MY street, which branches off of Main Street, was wonderfully quiet as I approached my apartment. There was a slight wind stirring the branches, and there was distant noise from the nearby McDonald's and the occasional cars on Main Street...but otherwise it was just quiet. It reminded me of the very first night I spent here, when Mom and I were sitting out on the porch. I think a couple of the guys might've been here at that time, but otherwise it was just us.

In my version of paradise, every night would be like this. Instead of rushing upstairs to my room, I sat down on one of the chairs that had been placed on the porch and just listened. And the quiet seemed to fill me. I'm normally a quiet person, but that's only on the outside. Inside, my mind is filled with worries and inner dialogues and all sorts of other noise...but sitting there, everything just faded out. I can't even explain it, but it was so wonderful. Maybe it sounds silly and New Age-y, I don't know. But even now, 10 minutes or so after finally going inside, I still just want to be quiet. I almost shut my door, because I knew when Kristen got home, I wouldn't feel like talking.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be highly uncomfortable in silence like that. I can't help but feel a little sad for them...though who knows, they might think the same of me.