Today's rambling: Envy
Written on Monday, Dec. 13, 2004 at 4:05 a.m.
while feeling a bit

So tomorrow/today begins Finals Week. And it could not have come a moment sooner. I can see the finish line out there in front of me, and after just a few projects and tests, I'll be breaking through that ribbon with a zealousness seldom seen before.

Tonight, I worked for about an hour on the CD-ROM that's due on Tuesday. And shoot, I need to fill out a little evaluation thing to run over to Davis tomorrow. Grr...I don't have any tests tomorrow, yet I have to hand in this paper. Il n'y a pas de justice! And speaking of French...

There's this kid in my class named Josh. I might've mentioned him before, because in his junior year of high school, he spent a year (I think) in Belgium. He speaks pretty much fluent French, and I'm sure only a native of those countries would be able to detect any sort of American accent. I can't understand the kid when he talks. But I was reading an article today in our campus newspaper that was all about him. He sells hemp jewelry and other items to help pay his way through college...and apparently, he's been to all sorts of different countries. A friend and him are planning on living for a year as homeless guys, just for the experience...and the thing is, I can imagine him doing that. And I'm pretty sure that he wants to do it purely as a learning experience, not as some kind of lesson or anything like that. The guy amazes me...and I find myself unbelievably jealous of him.

Next semester, he'll be over in Lille (France) studying further, and meanwhile I'll still be here with my pathetic grasp of the French language (7 years has done nada for me), and no self-confidence to ever thrust myself into a foreign culture like that. I would love to do something like that, ideally, but in reality I know I'd never have the guts. So I'm envious of him, and I wish I'd had the sort of upbringing that gave me that kind of ambition.

Anyway, I need to go to bed now!