Today's rambling: Ach! What is this crap?
Written on Monday, Nov. 22, 2004 at 1:51 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Just two days until Thanksgiving break! I'm so excited to be able to go back home for a bit, even if it's only for a few days (and in an apartment that's not mine).

Geoff said we might be able to hang out after Thanksgiving, like Friday or some such...and on the one hand, of course I'd like to see him again. But at the same time, I think I'm finally moving on. Well, not moving ON, exactly, because it's not as though I have my eye on anybody else! It's not really worth it. I mean, when have I EVER gotten anybody that I had my eye on? (Answer: zero). Everyone always says that when you're not looking for it, that's when it'll happen...and it's not as though I go out each day actively searching for someone I could potentially date. Most of the time, I don't think about it at all. But when I do finally get to thinking about it, I just seem to dwell on it.

And then there's the whole "how can you expect anybody to love you if you don't love yourself" argument...which I believe in, to an extent. I mean, I certainly don't love myself, so how CAN I expect anyone else to? But THEN there's the fact that plenty of people get significant others even when they don't think too much of themselves. So basically, I think the answer is that I just suck.

But oh well. I'm obviously not a person who hates being solitary, considering the number of times I come in here and say I like being by myself. I probably would get super irritated having a boyfriend after awhile, lol! Like everything else in my life, I'm sure I'd get bored of it all after a short time. I can't even stay interested in my honors fraternity for more than a year, and I love those guys (well, most of them)! So how can I expect to want to see one person every day for the rest of my liiiiiiiife...

I like this argument. It's making me think again that having someone is kinda silly. This is good.

Except then tomorrow, Kristen will have her boyfriend over again and I'll be back to hiding in my room feeling sorry for myself. :P

But I'm going home on Tuesday, so WHO CARES!