Today's rambling: An overdue chat
Written on Friday, Jun. 04, 2004 at 3:34 p.m.
while feeling a bit

My uncle IMed me tonight, and it's the first time I've truly spoken to him since Mom and Dad first separated back in 2000. He emailed me a week or two ago, and that was the first communication I'd had with him, but tonight was the first we'd actually talked (or typed, as the case may be).

I hate my dad's side of the family. They're a supercilious, clique-y lot that has some kind of genetic knack for putting people on unnecessary guilt trips. The one exception is Uncle Mike, who was the youngest of Dad's branch and was an "oops baby"...which means that he kind of grew up with a different air than the rest of his siblings. He's sarcastic and a bit of a troublemaker, and goodness knows we've been at each other's throats many a time over the years (he was only about 12 when my parents were married, and I was born a year after that, so we're not THAT far apart in age)...but I think that's why I like him more. Because he's nothing like them, and he's never tried to make me feel guilty or tried to lord it over me. Poor guy, lol...My parents and I lived with my grandparents when I was around 4, and I used to spy on Uncle Mike when he was in the Rec room with his girlfriends... :P

Anyway, it was really nice chatting with him tonight. His humor is like a sharpened version of my own, so we were bantering back and forth the whole time. The only time I got irritated with him was when he was describing all our personalities (well, his,mine, my dad's, and my Uncle Doug's), and he said something about me not seeing reason yet because I hadn't had enough experience or something like that. I KNOW he was referring to my anger at Dad over what he did to us.

There is one thing that makes Uncle Mike like his siblings, and that's his penchant for marrying women and then dropping them later. Granted, he's only been married twice, and Uncle Doug (the whore of the family) has been married...well, I guess he's been married 3 times now, but he's gotten all "serious" with women in between. At any rate, of course this is normal for them, because they've done it. And I suppose maybe I wouldn't be so angry with Dad if he hadn't been so damn SLIMY and DECEITFUL about it...though honestly, how can an affair be anything BUT slimy and deceitful?

To all of them, I'm probably being unreasonable and childish. And as I said once to GT, I know the best thing for me to do is to forgive and forget. That's the only way I'm going to find peace in this situation, y'know? But I can't. Because I'm so filled with ANGER at what both Dad and that whore did to us (how can I forgive him just calling up one day and announcing to the answering machine that he'd stopped paying for electric, gas, and mortgage?). And he doesn't realize that he or she did anything wrong. So our correspondences with each other are always the "walking on eggshells" types, because I refuse to acknowledge La Whore's presence, and he keeps trying to put the guilt trip on me for not "accepting" her.

Yeah, I'll accept that bitch when I've gotten a few punches in and she's missing a few teeth...teeth that were paid for when Dad remortgaged OUR house. And took out loans. He ruined my mom's credit, and all to help out that conniving, vicious woman he'd been sleeping with.

Wow, and suddenly the anger comes out (again)! So yeah, that's why I got irritated when Uncle Mike said that I wasn't able to see reason yet. I admit I'm quite hotheaded about things, but I feel fully justified in this anger.

Other than that, though, it was really nice talking to him, and he's one of the first people who sees eye-to-eye on my "I don't want kids" stance. Why is it that people look at you like you're an abomination if you don't want to procreate? I figure, there are women out there who are having like 20 kids, contributing to the overpopulation, and so they're more than making up for me. (Egads...I can understand having like one or two kids, but some people go way overboard!)

Now I'm going to...well, go. :P