Today's rambling: Insert description here.
Written on Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003 at 3:47 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I had to change the original title for this entry 'cause Lola pointed out that it didn't mesh too well with the content of my last entry. :P And the last thing I want to do is scare anybody else, hehe! I'm definitely experiencing burnout. Or a very severe case of PMS. Either way, I feel like throwing myself down on my bed, screaming and crying and generally being very tantrum-y, and then secluding myself from the world for, oh, I don't know, a month at least.

I don't know why this year is going so much worse than last year, but I'm ready to just take a year off again. I hate all my classes except for two (and even one of those isn't all that great), I hate working at the radio station, I'm not even finding much joy at the TV station because the people there just don't seem to want to warm up to me...I'm just not having a good time of things.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I'm getting increasingly short-tempered? The smallest of things just sets me off. Maybe it really is PMS, I don't know. But it definitely wouldn't be this bad if I didn't already want to run away and hide from everything. I can't wait until this stupid semester is over; maybe next semester, I'll actually enjoy doing things. My plans are to A)Give over the Music Director job permanently, and B)List myself as a substitute for radio shows, as opposed to having my own show. I don't like that station anymore. All anyone likes playing is rap, which sucks, and we don't have enough of the type of music I like to fill 3 hours of show time. So I'm stuck with an all-request show where people request the worst types of music ever to have crawled out of a studio, and all the while I just want to shoot myself and make it all stop.

I'm just a little bundle of happiness today, aren't I?

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to have to drag myself through these courses, but unlike high school where I was content to just let myself get C's or D's or whatever they decided to give me, this time around I actually care about what my grades are. Worse yet, after last semester's 4.0, if I get any B's this semester I'll probably end up kicking myself forever about it. Which is stupid. I already know I'm going to get a B--at best--in French, so I might as well resign myself to that fact.

Hopefully, after I have a small break at home next weekend I'll be back to normal again. I certainly hope so, because I can't be like this for the rest of the year. I would quit, then. I'm desperately hoping those professors go on strike...but of course since I'm hoping for it, it won't happen.

Okay, I'm going to go decide whether or not I want to waste my time with this meaningless French busywork...