Today's rambling: Take a walk with me...
Written on Sunday, Jun. 29, 2003 at 8:08 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I had an urge to listen to some Led Zeppelin songs. Do not ask me WHY, as I've barely listened to their music at all (and the only times I have were while with Geoff), but last night I just felt like listening to some. Only three...and a pretty common three at that: Stairway To Heaven, Going To California, and Over The Hills And Far Away. Yeah, pretty basic fare to any fan, hehe...but remember, I'm new here. :P

So, despite the fact that I have no intentions of sticking with dear old Demon the Desktop, I downloaded those three songs. (Shhh! You didn't hear me say the illegal words!) I can only imagine what'll come after this...I'll probably end up downloading Screaming Trees or something.

Bwe he he...Screaming Trees...that name never fails to amuse me.

Anyway...so tomorrow's my birthday. Yup. And I'm not doing anything. Oh, I know it's no important thing, especially since it's not like I'm turning one of those milestone years (like 16, 18, or 21). But it's still kinda bleh. I was the one who decided not to do anything this year, and to be honest--no offense, guys!--the only person I really feel like hanging out with is Geoff! But his sister's in town for some reason, so I guess he'll be over visiting her. And he works tomorrow, I'm sure. But I told Timmy on the phone today that tomorrow is my birthday, so maybe something will happen.

I'm not holding my breath, however.

The other night, I got an IM from my cousin Billy...or should I say, 'Bill', since he's outgrown his childhood nickname. He's a cousin on my dad's side, so I haven't really talked to him at all since everything happened, but I always felt kinda close to him. He's going to be a senior in high school come September, and I still remember around the time he was born...I had more fun playing around with him than I did my slightly older cousin, Doug! Hehehe, I still remember how when Billy was a baby, he hardly ate anything. The only thing he would eat, practically, were Cheerios...and I remember watching him pick them up with his mouth from his high chair table. :P Even though he was followed by two younger siblings, I never cared as much about them as I did about Billy. So it was nice hearing from him the other night...even though he's apparently clueless about what went on.

I don't know if it's feigned cluelessness or if Aunt Chris really didn't tell him what had happened. Either way, he asked why I wasn't at the last family reunion, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from retorting, "Uh, with the way your entire half of the family treated me, you think I'd actually want to spend time with them?" I told him the truth in that I haven't communicated with that half since everything happened, and even added that I never liked those reunions anyway. But I did it politely.

I'm kinda wondering what other long-lost friend/relation is going to pop out of the woodwork now. I've got plenty to pick from! If I can find the address, I'm thinking that I should swallow my pride and try sending a letter to Gretchen. I expect to get something perfectly scathing in reply (assuming her family even forwards the letter to her), but it wouldn't be undeserved. But we'll see. I could always wait for the 5-year class reunion and see if she shows up there, hehe!

Ugh. My first class reunion. That should be, what? The end of this year or sometime next year? My original plan was not to even go. Why would I want to go hang out with people whom I detested in high school? So I can hear all their pretentious stories of how they were top of their class in college and how they're sooooo much better than everyone else? Yeesh, that entire school was made up of nothing but snobs. I hate to sound so bitter, especially when I know that Tiff will end up reading this, hehe (she was confident enough that none of that ever really bothered her), but I really DON'T have any particular desire to see those people! I mean, they made my 5th thru 12th grade life a complete hell, and I know that everyone says high school damages everyone's self-esteem...if I'd stayed at my old school, though, I know I wouldn't have gone through so much. I was well-liked at my original school, and while I don't think I would have been popular, I certainly wouldn't have been degraded on a daily basis. But then again, I hear that that high school is notorious for druggies and such, so maybe it's better that I didn't go there. Oh well. I'll just go to the reunion for a brief cameo, turn my nose up at everyone and say, "Gawd, what happened to YOU?" and then leave. ^_^

I think that would be my dream come true, going up to all those asses and throw one good parting shot at them. They'd so deserve it.

Hehehe...in my freshman year, I had this huge crush on a kid named Ethan (Tiff, you remember him, hehe). Actually, I hated him at first because he was so smart that I always felt really stupid by comparison...and he was in 2 of my classes! But one day he just started to befriend me, teasing me about my Earth Science project and then pouting when I wasn't put into his group in English class (I remember him and another kid calling out, "Amber! Just come over here anyway!"), and so of course after that I was smitten. ;) I moved to Massachusetts after that year, and I remember him asking if I'd ever be back or something like that. So naturally I figured that when I came back in my junior year, he'd be at least somewhat pleased to see me. Instead, he barely said a word to me all year! Then came senior year, and he got 1600 on his SAT's, so all of a sudden all these girls were like, "Ohhhh, Ethan got a perfect score on his SAT's! Isn't he so great?" I got so disgusted with it that my crush ended right there. *giggles* No, his ignoring me didn't do it; I had to wait for everyone ELSE to start liking him before I finally got sick of him. :P He congratulated me on my French award, though. That was nice. Hehe...except, not knowing what to say in return, I said, "Congratulations on...all of yours, too." It sounded sort of snarky, heh...

Okay, enough with the Memory Lane stuff. I just couldn't help myself, once I'd gotten started!

'Course, now that I've stopped with that, I don't have anything else to say. >_< So I guess I'll sign off and find something productive to do! Either that, or I'll sit in front of the television and eat food that'll just make me fat(er). THAT is always fun, right?