Today's rambling: Ungrateful Uterus!
Written on Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2003 at 5:13 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I hate my uterus.

I mean it. For the past three hours, I have been sending very vicious hate waves down to that small organ.

Unfortunately, it's been sending hate waves right back...in painful abundance. Stubborn thing, won't even let itself feel repentant.

How is it that something so comparatively small can cause so much pain? I know any male types who might actually be reading this are not appreciating my candid talk, but it's all about the honesty around here. :P Maybe all the bad karma from yesterday's question is coming back to punish me. I mean, my cramps usually only occur on the first day, and this is the second. And they were worse today than they were yesterday! Craziness.

It started a bit before 2 o'clock, but after awhile it soon became apparent that I was going to have to suffer. A lot. I tried taking a shower, in the hope that the hot water would provide soothing, but that didn't work. I'd taken 2 Advil before that, yet over an hour later I wasn't feeling even a small amount of relief. So, in a fit of rebellious pique, I threw away everything I'd learned in Health and had a shot of vodka. LOL...I know, that sounds completely random. But alcohol relaxes muscles. And it really DOES work. But I'd have preferred something less...fume-producing...than vodka.

That stuff is perfectly gross and I have no idea how anyone can drink it without first mixing it with other stuff. You put it on your tongue, and I swear you can probably see fumes just rising off of it. It's toxic. I had to rush to the bathroom, thinking I was going to upchuck. I kept it down, but it didn't work anyway. I'll bet my liver isn't thanking me right now, though.

So anyway, an hour later and my uterus still showed no signs of giving up. So I took 2 more Advil. By this point, I figured I'd get relief one way or another, even if it meant I'd collapse, unconscious, on the floor. :P Thankfully, now after 5 o'clock, things are starting to calm down. I've got one of those ThermaCare thingies on me, I'm listening to the Lovin' Spoonful, and I feel much better. Especially now that I've subjected you, Dear Diary, to the woes of "that time of the month". I even subjected Geoff to it last night...but the odd part was, he was actually curious about it and asked me questions. Nothing creeps that man out.

This morning around 6-something, Mom's alarm started going off. Problem was, Mom wasn't there. My door was shut, as always, and I even had my fan going...yet it still woke me up. For another 30 seconds I just tried to ignore it, thinking maybe it would go off after awhile, but I finally resigned myself to the fact that I'd have to get up and turn it off myself. I wasn't happy. But I went back to sleep almost immediately, so my irritation didn't last long. :P

I am so drowsy right now, but I can't help wondering if it's something drug-induced. Wouldn't that be fun! LOL...I know, I'm just being paranoid. Maybe I should actually go and get dressed now. I've been sitting round in my bathrobe all day because I've been in too much pain to worry about finding clothes.

By the way, Megan, I usually say "take a shower" too, hehe! Very rarely I'll say "get a shower", but that just sounds foreign. :P How about everyone else? I have a strange fascination for these sorts of things, hehe...I remember all my friends used to say "wudder" (or something like that) instead of "water", and it used to drive me nuts. And then of course there's the whole "soda" vs. "pop" thing, but I think pop's a cute word so I don't mind hearing people calling it that. :P

Last night on the phone with Geoff, I was talking about something and said "every so often". I was about to keep talking, but he piped up all of a sudden and said he'd never heard anyone actually pronounce the t in that word, and how neat it sounded. :P Most people say "offen", but I'd never noticed that before! 'Course, I don't think most people say that word very frequently, so maybe that's why.

Anyway, I'm gonna go and get something to eat, finally. I haven't eaten all day; you'd have thought I was sick or something! I feel I can truly enjoy the rest of my day now that the pain is gone...though I'm still rather miffed at my uterus. You'd think it would have more consideration than it does. Ungrateful thing.