Today's rambling: SEX! (not really...but I mention it.)
Written on Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2003 at 1:24 a.m.
while feeling a bit

3 tickets to a Jethro Tull concert come out to a whopping $130. I normally wouldn't even bat an eye at such a sum...but then again, 'normally' is defined by me having a job. As it is, my credit card is so swamped with debt that while I can technically afford an extra 130 dollars, it would take me that much longer to pay everything off. Drat drat drat. Trust me to promise to pay for something I can't afford! X_X

I tried calling the boys this evening, to make sure they were DEFINITELY willing to go and that they hadn't bought the tickets without telling me. Wouldn't that be amusing, if we ended up buying 6 tickets...and once you buy them, you can't get the money back. So as much as I'd love to just make this thing a whole surprise for them...this is one of those times where they have to be apprised of the situation.

'Apprised'...isn't it lovely how words just sometimes pop into your head? I don't think I've ever used that one before, yet I knew its meaning...I think it was just waiting there in that dusty corner of my brain, just waiting to be used.

Anyway, I couldn't get a hold of anybody. Tim called me at 11 this morning, incredulous that I could still be sleeping, but we got disconnected and I think his long distance was cut off again...*giggles* I'd really wanted to talk to him today, too, because I was going to ask him about a certain bar in Philly that I found on the Internet. It looks like a neat sort of place, and their kitchen is open 'til 1 am, so we could stop there after (and/or before) the concert, hehe! I know, I know, I could just as easily have looked for a diner of some sort, but there's just something companionable about sitting around an old, dinged-up bar counter. :P

Hmmm....I asked Mom to try calling (I get weird about calling someone more than once in a short period of time), but the phone just keeps ringing and ringing, as it did when I called a little while ago. I wonder if there really IS something up with their phone line, or if someone's online and they're not signing off to find out who's calling. Grrr! Oh. Wait. She just got the answering machine! :P AUGH! AND SHE'S TELLING THE CONCERT STORY ON THE MACHINE!!! WHEN I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER NOT TO!!!!

I'm telling you, if you want something done RIGHT, you have to do it yourself. She griiiiiiiiinds on my nerrrrrrrrves sometimes...

I'm getting to be so intolerant of her faults that it's really not even normal anymore. I mean, I know just about everyone gets irritated sometimes, but at times I feel that I'm really unfair about it! Especially with Mom. During our Florida trip, I was trying to do that silly little movie, and I had certain things all planned out in my head. However, I needed her to film the bits where I was speaking, and she doesn't know how to work anything more technological than our 1980's-era microwave. Everything from her alarm clock to the computer, I have to help her with. And deep down I understand her difficulty with such things--she's had no training and she didn't grow up in the most up-to-date surroundings--but I still can't help just wanting to gnash my teeth whenever she's around something with more than an 'on/off' button. The whole film thing was stupid, though. I asked too much in wanting her to use the Fade function, and even though I explained it to her several times, she either wasn't listening or didn't get it. So every ending to one of my speeches has me laughing awkwardly or saying "turn it off"...which, to someone who likes putting together such things, is just aggravating. I'm not a teacher type; I can't teach people things because some part of my brain just can't wrap around the idea that certain things aren't easy for people to learn. In most cases, it's been a blessing for me to be such a quick learner, but in others it's more of a curse because I don't have that understanding borne of working toward learning. I get frustrated and short-tempered, and my 'victims' never deserve it. This is probably why I'm put in a sort of awe whenever I think about Janette teaching, because I know I'd never have the patience to do what she does. That's probably also why I wouldn't be a good mother, either.

But I know it's unfair to be impatient with Mom. I'm just getting to the point with her that I was at with Kristen during college. I need to get away. I think if I can find an apartment up in Clarion, I'll be sorely tempted to stay up there most of the summer! Problem is, if I did that I'd have no place to find a job. So screw that idea... :

My left ear is still stopped up. I can hear out of it, but it's a sort of distorted, listening-through-cotton sort of sound. And occasionally it's been aching a bit. It all started when I was cleaning my ears the other day. I should have listened to that magazine when it said that you should never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your ears! Especially since I have a long and familiar history of childhood earaches and ear infections. It's like someone with a family history of cardiovascular difficulties eating chips and ice cream all day. Only on a lesser scale.

While I was in Florida, I bought these wee Ash tree seeds. I think I wrote about that already. I very nearly didn't buy them because who knows if we'll ever get another house, where I could plant them. But if nothing else, I can plant them in Adrienne's yard or something and I'm so desperately in love with flora right now that I couldn't resist buying these seeds. My dream house, apart from being made of either stone or logs and having a secret room like the House of Seven Gables, is one that's set back among the trees. If I don't have trees at my future house, I'll be despondent.

Yeesh, I'm sounding like a wood nymph or something...

And now, a few hours later...I found out WHY I couldn't get through to Geoff and Tim. It's because their power was shut off. Because they forgot to pay the electric bill. X_X Geoff is one of those real life "forget his head if it wasn't attached" sorts of people. It's amusing, but at the same time, could you imagine living with him? Guess who'd be wearing the pants in the family? Ha ha ha...

Megan's latest entry just made me start thinking about all those teenagers out there having sex. LOL...this is such a random topic, considering everything else I've been talking about. :P I know physical intimacy is one of those things that help make people closer (literally! HA HA!), but at the same time, if we didn't find pleasure in sex then we wouldn't have to worry about all these little teenagers going out and doing it. My hormones can rage every bit as much as theirs, but at least I have enough sense to keep it all in my pants.

Well...I guess there's nothing I could technically take OUT of my pants.

Anyway, there's something I've been wondering about for ages. One of the benefits of spaying your female pets is that apparently, doing so before their first menstruation very drastically cuts down their chances of getting breast cancer. I'm full of random information like this. So anyway, MY question is:

Would the same thing work for humans?

Oh, I know, it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment (even though humans seem to multiply worse than rabbits and you see how many homeless folks WE have...why don't they have SPCH's or something for them? "Adopt A Human Weekend!")...But anyway, I would certainly give up my reproductive organs if it meant there was like next to no chance of getting breast cancer. I don't want kids...and if I ever did, I'd adopt. But my question's a completely honest one. I'm not even asking it from some perverse need to see children tortured. As Davy used to say, "I want to know." (only you Anne readers will get that, hehe)

It's just one of those things I think about sometimes. I won't try it on my kids (assuming I ever had any), but that doesn't mean I can't think about it. :P And now that I've made you all wonder what exactly it is that I'm smoking, I'm going to post this and buy those $130 tickets. *sighs resignedly* Y'know, if I wanted any, I really OUGHT to get sex out of this.

Hehehehe....