Today's rambling: Nevermind.
Written on Friday, Mar. 28, 2003 at 11:00 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Can I confess something to you, Diary? It's going to sound unbelievably stupid, just to warn you.

....

Actually, on second thought...I think I'll save this for the private section. It's not something I really want folks to read. Suffice it to say, though, that I feel I was picked on quite a bit more than was necessary, and while I know I need to get over that, at the same time it bothers me just a little.

I didn't want the sisters to know that I'm shy. It's the sort of thing that I do end up telling people (if they managed to not figure it out already), but I like to wait until they get to know me first. Now, every time I'm quiet (and 'quiet' and 'shy' are two totally different things), they're going to be like, "Loosen up! Blah blah blah!" and it's going to irritate me because I'll want to shout, "I'm just being quiet! That's all!" So yeah, that rather sucked. As much as they've definitely tried to include me and all of that, I still feel like they probably shouldn't have extended the bid to me. In fact, I'm halfway wishing I'd never sent it in. It's Amanda that belongs there, not me. She's the one that can be as loud and exuberant as them. I know I need to loosen up, but I don't like to be picked on all the time.

Anyway, I'm sorry Diary. I know this isn't making sense, and I know I'm making more out of it than there really is. I'm just feeling strangely hurt and upset, but it'll be all over by tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'm going to be taking over Eric's show for the day, where I'll get to play Oldies and get that familiar little shiver when "Nights In White Satin" plays.

God, that is such a beautiful song. Forget waiting until tomorrow to listen to it. I'm going to listen to the entire album right now.