Today's rambling: "Beautiful pain"
Written on Monday, Feb. 17, 2003 at 7:37 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I am in pain. I keep telling myself that it's that 'beautiful pain' talked about in Bally Fitness commercials, and that makes me smile for all of a minute or so because I think, "If I keep making my muscles scream in agony, before long I'll become totally sek-say."

But then I try to stand up, and those muscles along my sides yell profanities at me.

And I'll be doing it all again tomorrow. A mile along the track, another 10 or 15 minutes on the elliptical machine (assuming we can actually get one, as they're usually so popular that girls claw each other's eyes out just so they can go first), and then all sorts of fun down in the weight room. Where I'll probably do that torso twisty machine that's got me feeling as I do right at this moment. Oh yeah, and the "whore machine", as Amanda and I call it. Whatever it is, it has made my inner thigh muscles a little pained, too.

No comments.

Tomorrow, Miranda will be coming along as well. This is good, because 'the more the merrier' and since none of us look like Britney Spears, we shouldn't feel jealous of one another. Actually, I'll be the only one feeling jealous because both of those girls are slimmer than me. But y'know what? It's all good. Because by the time summer comes along, I'll be looking ever so much better than I do right now.

But let's look past the pain now.

You are reading an entry of the newest vice president for this chapter of the National Broadcasting Society. I would be much more elated by this whole thing if there'd actually been other people trying to be nominated and I somehow managed to win out. The truth of it is, however, that only three people (including me) showed up for today's NBS meeting...and the other two were Amber and Kristin. So Amber nominated me, Kristin seconded it, and there I was: the new vice president. No balloons or confetti or even anything exciting. It was almost anticlimatic, really. But if Misty (who WAS the V.P. until our other president resigned) doesn't get her butt in gear and let someone know whether or not she wants the position, I'll end up getting the President position...which, as some of you may know, is the position I was going for in the first place.

Kinda scary, really. I mean, Misty is a crap member (she hasn't done ANYTHING she's supposed to, and rarely comes to meetings), so I'm hoping she won't take the president position. But on the other hand, I need some time to kinda get the rhythm of things! I can't just be thrust into this job not knowing what to do!

Oh well. As long as I have the enthusiasm, I should be okay. And we DEFINITELY need to get something done!!! Step 1: Get more members. The more we have, the more ideas that'll pour into the group. So that's where I'll start. That and fundraising, because we have no money. Sound good enough as a starting point? Good.

I was so cool toward Kevin today, and I really shouldn't have let myself act like that. I have to admit to you right now, Diary, that I think part of why I'm letting things affect me so much is that I'm sorta jealous. Yes, there's a mini crush involved here, and I'm actually ashamed to admit that! The only assurance I have is that it's a passing thing--I mean, I've had small crushes on him before but they always went away--and so I'll be all back to normal within a short period of time. The whole thing was created from a shallow reason, anyway! Remember me talking about how popular he'd become, and how it was kind of like one of those "you want it when everyone else wants it" things? Yeah, that's what's going on here. Really superficial, which is another reason why I'm all embarrassed to be admitting it here. But I'll get over it. I always do.

It doesn't help that Geoff never called me back last night and I'm getting to the point where I'm just tired of even trying anymore. Diary, you know how much time and effort I've invested with this guy. I'm not just giving up after hardly even trying. I don't even know that I am giving up; all I know is that after last night, laying there in bed at 11 pm and wanting to cry, I don't really want to continue with this much longer. He and I will always be friends, I know that. But if he can't get his ass in gear and just TELL me one way or the other whether he likes me, then I need to just step away.

Hmm.

I don't know. I'm just feeling rather tired and down today. Oh cripes, I need to write out my essay for French tomorrow, too!!! Augh, this is not helping me in the slightest!!!