Today's rambling: I can see the party lights
Written on Friday, Jan. 03, 2003 at 7:59 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I wonder what it would be like to study abroad in France. Sure, they hate Americans, but wouldn't make a difference if this American actually wanted to learn--and fit into--their culture? It's not like I'd be there speaking in overly loud tones and being rude to everyone. I'm not even rude to people in my own country (well, not usually, ha ha), and I'd most certainly refrain from rudeness in a place that's not my home. I don't even know that Clarion has such study abroad programs (I was never interested enough to check before), but I want to go to France so badly! My only problem is that I'm not really fluent enough to survive without a translator. :P Last time I went, I had my 'grandmother' (really just my mother's foster mother) and her husband there to do everything for me. Yesterday at work, these two guys were speaking French as they served themselves at the salad bar. I was busy behind the counters filling up various bins, but I was trying to listen in just to see if I could understand any of what they were saying. Combined with my shaky listening comprehension and all the background noise, I didn't get anything, hehe...

Maybe I'll just wait until I'm out of college and can save up money again, and then I'll make a visit. By then, I'd like to hope that I'll be more fluent; I'm seriously considering a minor in French, so I'd have to take all those classes for pronunciation and whatnot. If I couldn't get fluent after all THAT, then there's no hope for me! :P And maybe by then, all this stupid war-ish stuff will have stopped so I won't feel as ill at ease getting into airplanes.

Anyway, Mom came home from work today and asked me if I was going to Kirsten's little party-ish thing. I blinked in surprise, then asked if we'd been invited. Mom said we had, but Kirsten hadn't actually mentioned anything to her. Instead, apparently it was Geoff...though HE didn't even technically ask or anything. Mom made a joke that she was offended she hadn't been invited, and he said that it wasn't an invitation thing; basically, it was just a "whoever wants to can show up" deal. As of yesterday, he and Frank had been the only other two who were going, blah blah. So I guess we're going now, but NOW I feel all uncomfortable about it, LOL! You know me and my insecurities, Diary: what if Kirsten would rather I actually not show up? :P I know, it sounds stupid when it's written down. These are just little things that bother me. Part of me's like, "Go up there at 5 instead of 5:30, so that you'll already be there by the time they get there and it won't be like you're tagging along!" Hehe...I felt myself wanting to start laughing even as I was typing that. Bah! I'll be more fun than I was on my birthday, you just wait and see! Hehehe...

It's winter storming here AGAIN, and as on Christmas it's all icy and stuff. Mom's in the process of calling Kirsten to say that we're not going to be able to come in at 5 am tomorrow, and I'm expecting the power to go out again. I think I'm ready for winter to be over now. Actually, I wouldn't mind it if it weren't for these stupid ice storms. Whatever happened to nice, fluffy snow? The cold doesn't bother me as much, but it's been terribly dry this winter. Moreso than usual, as far as I can tell. I don't remember ever having been this dry-skinned and itchy before! Like Lola, I think I'd like to take a bath in lotion!

Mom just got off the phone with Kirsten, hehe...She'd said that we wouldn't be able to make it in 'til 8, but Kirsten was like, "Make it 9...then you and Amber can come to my going-away party!" So now I won't have to worry about going to Johnny's at 5 and meeting them there. *giggles* Even if it WAS just a "whoever wants to go can just show up" thing, I still would have been awkward showing up without someone asking me to go! But now it's all good, hee hee...

Yay, the trees are starting to break again. *sighs* That means power outages aren't far off. This is probably going to sound dumb, but I feel sorry for the trees! I have to keep reminding myself that for once, this is nature and not humans cutting things down. :P Still, what about all the little squirrels living up in those trees? Heh...Okay, I'll stop now.

I wish I could live in a place that was called a 'village'. At least for short periods of time, ha ha...After living in Clarion, I realize that living in a place with no close proximity to big stores would drive me up a wall. But occasionally, it would be so nice to live in a quiet, tranquil sort of place! I saw a magazine at the dentist's office called "Country" (or something like that) and it had these GORGEOUS pictures of...was it Nevada, or Nebraska? Probably the latter. Oh my goodness, to be able to visit places like that...! I wouldn't really want to live there, I'm sure, but all that aesthetic goodness would make me go all aquiver with happiness! I think the area I live in right now is pretty--well, parts of it, anyway--and I've seen some gorgeous scenery on the way out to Clarion. But each area has its own different kinds of beauty. When I was in Arizona, for example, I saw some really breathtaking stuff. And it wasn't the 'trees and greenery' sort of beauty, it was more like canyons and big towers of rock; examples of the amazing stuff nature can do. So yeah, one day I'd like to travel to all the different states!

And then of course there's still France...but I can't drive to France! :P And I'm still set on seeing all of the UK and Ireland, and Australia and New Zealand...and Japan too!...Yeah, as you can see I'm either going to have to suffer with my dreams never being realized, or I'll have to win PowerBall when it's up to that several-million-dollar mark. *giggles*

Jam and Lola are both on! Imagine my luck! And I don't even really have to get off the computer yet 'cause I no longer have to wake up at 3 am! Well, if the power goes out then I won't even be waking up at 6, but that's a trivial point. :P I'll just set my little watch alarm. It woke me up when I used it at Amanda's house! Then again, I made myself wear my watch while I slept specifically so I couldn't miss hearing it. :P I tend to sleep all curled up, so more often than not my hands are up around my face, hehe...

So, ladies and jellyspoons (Eddie Izzard quotage, ha ha), this concludes my diary entry! I know, you're all desperately sad. But really, I'll be back later! Maybe not tomorrow, ha ha, but soon! *waves handkerchief in farewell*

P.S. As Jam embarrassed me, I'll correct myself by saying that the 'ladies and jellyspoons' thing was first heard (by me) from Eddie Izzard. *giggles* Not saying it's never been said elsewhere! *grins teasingly at 'er Jammyness and smushes*