Today's rambling: The long and winding entry
Written on Sunday, Dec. 01, 2002 at 4:07 p.m.
while feeling a bit

(Just to let you know, this is basically just a braindump of what happened yesterday and most likely will be miserably boring to you guys. ;) But if you like reading about my days in teensy tiny detail then read on!)

Soooo, I'm back.

And it's depressing.

I'd predicted that by the time it came to return I wouldn't want to leave. I had just gotten used to being back home again, not having that "staying in a hotel" feeling...and then besides that, there's Geoff. :P Oh yes, folks, That Lovin' Feeling has returned. *giggles* Sorry, I couldn't resist some lame humor. Anyway...

Yesterday, I went in to work with Mom at 5 in the morning. Part of me didn't want to bother just because I would have to get up at 3 am and I'd be beat...and then today I had to get up at 6 because Lauren's mother wanted to leave at 7:30. X_X But I went anyway because 1)I hadn't gotten to see Mom much at all, 2)I wanted to see Debbie and Kirsten and my other friends, and 3)I wanted to see Geoff. ;) He didn't come in 'til 9, but I got to talk to Leroy and a bunch of other people...and I helped Mom as much as I could. I'm so irritated because college kids are no longer permitted to work during vacations. Had I come back every few weekends or whatever and worked even one day, I would've been fine. But because I've been gone for so long, the computer decided that that meant I was terminated, and now there's a hiring freeze. Tell me why anybody would be stupid enough to put a hiring freeze right during the HOLIDAYS??? The food court was woefully short on help, and the front end is going to be really short too because of all the college kids that usually come back during holidays. Couple that with the fact that they can't get anyone new, and dear old Genuardi's is going to be in BAD shape. Slaveway has got to be one of the stupidest companies to have ever been created.

Yeesh, what a digression! Let's get back on track, shall we? I don't really know what sort of reaction I was expecting when I saw Geoff again, but suffice it to say it was a bit less enthusiastic than I'd been hoping for. ;) I was putting up sale tags in one of the aisles when he and Ernie wandered down. Geoff called out my name and I turned with a big grin...then squealed and ran up to give him a hug. He laughed and returned the hug, but that was about it. He and Ernie paused for a sec, then kept going. :P It's okay, though, 'cause I got to talk to him more later, hehe...

By the time it came to leave, I was getting all bummed out because I'd been hoping maybe Geoff and I could hang out for a couple of hours after he finished. I don't even remember what time it was anymore...3-ish? Anyway, I was sitting in the back office with him, and I brought up the conversation I'd had with Tim just a couple of nights before. When I mentioned the part about how Tim asked when he and Geoff would get to see me, Geoff said something like "Well, he's making a turkey tonight" and basically invited me over to his apartment!

Yes, just absorb that for a minute. Okay, moving on...

Before we could get any further on the subject, the frozen food delivery came and so Geoff had to take care of that. Of course, that was when Mom was like, "Ready to leave?" and I was panicking because I didn't know what to do. See, I'm not the assertive sort of person who can just be like, "So, was that invitation really sincere?" Actually, I could have if we'd just been talking about going to the bar or something, but it's a little different when you're actually being invited to someone's house for the first time. Thankfully Mom stalled for awhile so I could think about what to do. It wouldn't have been as bad if he'd just been sitting down or something, but he was in the middle of carting pallets from the truck into the freezer and so it wasn't as if I could just follow him back and forth going, "So can I come with ya? Huh? Huh?"

In the end, I decided to just stand there and wait for him to be finished so I could say goodbye, but after getting the third pallet in the freezer, he came out and said, "So, what're you going to do?" Or something to that effect, anyway. I laughed and said I didn't know, and when he mimicked my whiny little voice I explained, "I don't want to impose!" (Which yes, sounded really cheesy, but it was the truth, anyway!) He warned me that it was probably going to be really boring 'cause all they were going to do was eat and watch TV, but I was "more than welcome to come."

"Well," I replied, "should we call Tim? I don't want to just suddenly appear!" Thankfully, he thought that was a good idea too, because he went into the back office to call Tim. His first call didn't accomplish anything because no one answered, but when I asked whether I should wait or just leave, Geoff went back to call again. This time, Tim answered. I didn't really hear what was going on because I was talking to Leroy's son, Dan, but every so often Geoff would look over at me and then laugh, so I'd turn my attention momentarily to his side of the conversation. As it turned out, Tim made a run out to a beverage store just to get me Smirnoff Ice. *giggles* Guys are so great. ;)

Anyway, by that point it was about 4 o'clock, so I told Mom what was going on and then waited in the break room for an hour. It was during that time that I started to get a serious case of "I shouldn't have done this". It's going to sound ridiculous, but I was paranoid that he'd only mentioned the dinner thing because he didn't think I'd actually accept....or something like that. I can't really put it into words, but that's the gist of it. I was afraid that maybe he didn't really want me going home with him, and blah blah...and I wouldn't have worried about it so much if it hadn't been for the fact that in my mind, I felt that I'd forced him into it. :P I know, it sounds dumb. I guess it was just nervousness over going to his house. I mean, he wouldn't have brought it up at all if he hadn't wanted me to accept, right? And even if he had blurted the invitation out without thinking first, he wouldn't have had to bring it up again a second time. By that point I'd had my jacket on and my purse over my shoulder, so he could've easily just said, "You leaving?" or something like that. So yeah, I need to get over my paranoia. :P

The apartment where Geoff and Tim lives was built back in the 1800's and was once a house. Now, you walk in through an old door into this tiny foyer that fits two people, then you go through another door into another tiny little area. This area consists of two doors: one leads to the downstairs apartment, and the other leads to Geoff and Tim's. When he opened that door, there was this really narrow flight of stairs. The laundry room/bathroom was at the very end of the hall, and the kitchen was right next to that. The next room down from there was the computer room, and then the living room was down at the other end of the hall. Their bedrooms were up another small flight of stairs, but of course I didn't get to see that floor. ;) Everything was so much different than what I'd been imagining, though! I mean, even though the rooms were relatively large it still felt really cramped and narrow. I'd been imagining something more spacious...still within the confines of an apartment, of course, but more open than what I saw. It was still rather cozy, though. ^_^ I felt bad for Tim, 'cause he'd wanted Geoff to call him before we left the store so he could get changed. We walked in on him wearing a T-shirt that had seen better days, and a pair of flannel-ish pants. They looked like pajama pants, let's just put it that way. ;) I had to keep myself from giggling at him.

It was weird seeing him. I've only ever met Tim in person once before, and since then I'd kind of forgotten what he looked like. Definitely not someone I'd ever get a crush on, hee hee! He's really nice, though, so it's all good.

Bleh, I'm just rambling on and on here! Oh well, Diary, I know you don't mind.

Dinner (a second Thanksgiving dinner, hehe) was really good, especially considering that a couple of 30-something bachelors made it. *giggles* Well okay, Tim made pretty much everything and Geoff only did one thing, but that's alright. I was still impressed. Then again, Tim was in the Navy for a good while and was married for awhile too, so maybe that's where his domestic skills came from. :P Unfortunately, I wasn't hungry for some reason (probably because of my nervousness) and so I was hesitant to eat too much for fear I wouldn't be able to eat any of the later stuff. You should have seen all the food this man made! The turkey alone was big enough for 5 people at least. :P The only noteworthy part to come out of the meal was when Tim asked if we wanted salad. We'd just had soup (which was really really yummeh), and I tried saying I didn't want any. But I walked back to the kitchen anyway. Geoff handed me a bowl with this tiny amount of salad in it and said, "Eat it and shut up!" LOL...He thought I hadn't wanted any because of my notorious pickiness, so I had to explain myself. A couple of minutes later, as if I'd had a delayed reaction, I just started giggling and exclaimed, "I can't believe you told me to shut up!"

I don't like caesar salads, by the way. Hehehe...

After eating, we all went back to the living room and watched TV. Definitely nothing exciting, especially as we were watching Classic VH1 (or whatever it's called), but I really enjoyed myself anyway. Unfortunately, I started getting really really tired (both because I'd been up so long and because of that wretched turkey), but I didn't want to just fall asleep in front of them...kinda amusing for me, really, since I was always falling asleep in front of my first/only boyfriend. :P I did, at one point, grab one of the pillows on the couch, place it against Geoff's side, and flop my head against it. However, he is either paranoid of girls in general or just me because absolutely nothing came of that...except that after maybe 10 minutes or so, he shifted so that he could put his arms down. *laughs and turns red* Kind of embarrassing for me to admit being shafted, hehehe...

Geoff and Tim cleaned up the kitchen slightly, and I stood there watching (feeling really bad for not helping). Geoff finished up what he was doing, washed his hands, and then crossed in front of me to dry off. I'm so used to Mom flicking me with water in these situations that I shrank back a little. Sure enough, he flicked water in my face. :P

He finally drove me home around 11:30 or so. I felt terrible making him drive all that way...yet another reason why I must get my driver's license (not to mention a car). It's not that I don't enjoy the rides home with him, but when it's that late at night I really feel guilty making him drive out all that way...especially when he was already really tired. All I got out of him this time was a cramped hug (because he didn't get out of the car), but he told me to call him when I come home for Christmas because otherwise he'll end up forgetting exactly which day I get back. He actually sounded like he was looking forward to hang out with me again! I enjoyed the feeling, hehehe...

So at any rate, that leaves us with today. I wanted to cry this morning when I woke up because I didn't want to leave! I'm still rather depressed now, but part of that's due to the fact that I still have that Writing paper to do, I haven't worked on it at ALL yet, and it's due this Friday. But I always do things last minute, so why should this be any different? Oh, and then there's this ridiculous take-home assignment we had in Earth Science, where we were asked to create a world (as in, a planet). I just now read over what he's asking for, and it's absolutely retarded. We have to draw currents and continents and blah blah, and depending on where land is situated, how much land there is, etc., everything else might have to be completely reworked. For a measly 20 points, this is an awful lot of unnecessary work. Unless I can find someone who'd like to help me on it (we're allowed to work in groups of up to 4 people), I won't be wasting my time on it. This 'measly 20 points' will end up dragging my grade down, LOL! But I've got an A right now, so if I get pulled down, I really don't care as long as I pass.

Alright, I've written quite enough. It's a few minutes after 4 o'clock, I need to procrastinate some more...and then I'm probably going to call Geoff a little after 6 o'clock. *laughs* I was talking to Mom this afternoon when I got back to Clarion and she told me that she'd been freaking out today at work because Kirsten's brother and parents had gotten into a bad accident on their way to Lycoming. It was due to the weather, apparently, and since Williamsport is sort of on the way to Clarion, Mom got paranoid that something had happened to me, too. I guess she kept saying stuff around Geoff (about being scared), and Geoff kept saying, "She's fine"...but then Mom was like, "Maybe you should call him, too!"

"Why?" I asked, chuckling. "I'm sure he wasn't worried."

"I don't know," she replied, "he looked a little worried..."

So yeah, I have that phone call to look forward to. ;)

I feel really sick to my stomach. I've been like that for about an hour now, and I'm not sure why. I hope it goes away, though, because I hate feeling ill. Well...who does like that feeling? LOL! :P