Today's rambling: Decisions, decisions!
Written on Saturday, Nov. 09, 2002 at 6:37 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I'm feeling sick to my stomach right now, and I don't really know why. I came back about 20 minutes ago from eating dinner...maybe the food had something to do with it. I know it's not lingering alcohol effects because I was fine all day, and I ate several hours before dinner...I think it was just dining hall food. Pam decided to tell me that they put laxatives in their food, because it sits out and in case it somehow goes bad, it won't get the students sick because the laxatives...well, you get the idea. She said that's what they told her during orientation or something like that, but I'm still deciding on whether or not I should believe her. :P

It is now a few minutes after 6 o'clock pm, and I have done absolutely nothing all day. I woke up a little after noon, laid in bed and listened to music until 1:30, and then just kinda vegged out after that. I was bored to tears for awhile, but now I just want to go to bed again, for some reason. Lately, it feels like no matter how long I sleep, it just isn't enough and I'm ready to go to bed again at insanely early hours. I don't know if it's because I have to walk everywhere and that exhausts me, if my bed is so bad that I really don't get that much rest while I'm sleeping, or if there's just something wrong with me, but I never used to be like this. I mean yeah, once I go to sleep I could just go right on sleeping for hours and hours, but I very rarely got so tired that I wanted to go to bed at 6 o'clock at night! It's interfering with my night life, even though I didn't have much of a 'night life' to begin with!

I found out that Millersville University is less than an hour from my house. That means I could go home every weekend! For that matter, depending on my class schedule, maybe I could even commute...which would suck, really, but it'd slash off a whole big chunk of the fee I'd have to pay. From the virtual tour they have on their website, the campus looks really gorgeous, too, surrounded by pretty trees and things. But a lot of the buildings look so big and unfriendly compared to stuff here at Clarion. I just don't know. It's a really hard decision, wondering whether or not to transfer! I mean, there are so many pros and cons for each choice! I think maybe I'll try to tour the campus or something, get a feel for everything, and that'll help me make my decision. As it is, I can't even think about doing it 'til after next semester is over...and I'll have to see if I can get any grants or scholarships or anything (since Millersville's tuition costs are over $3,000 more than Clarion's). Millersville was ranked 32 as one of the best universities in this region...Clarion didn't make it onto the list at all.

I dunno. Maybe this feeling of being dissatisfied will pass after awhile. I do like Clarion, it's just that if I'm going to go to college I want to get the best education I can. I'm not saying that the teaching here sucks--it's actually been pretty good thus far. However, there aren't enough professors in the Communication department, and I don't foresee that changing any time soon. *sighs*

I still have that rough draft to write out. Which means I need to think of a thesis statement. I was nearly in tears on Wednesday in class, because my first thesis didn't work, and then when I thought up a second one and presented it, she immediately went, "That won't work!" It's like nothing I do in that class is good enough. And I'm not saying that to make the professor sound like a Nazi, it's just that...ugh, I don't know. I'm so unhappy with it. I can't wait for this semester to be over...and if I thought I could pass without doing either of these last essays, I'd just forget about completing them. It would take unbelievable amounts of stress away. But no, I've got to keep going because my grade is already precarious in that class.

At least I'm doing well in all my other classes.

Anyway, I think I'll stop complaining and try to call up Geoff. :P I feel like ranting to him about the events of last night, lol...