Today's rambling: We need our space.
Written on Saturday, Oct. 26, 2002 at 2:17 a.m.
while feeling a bit

I think it's time for "The Gang" to get some time to themselves, as in away from each other. For my part, I'm not having a problem with anybody. But Lauren's been getting agitated with Kevin, Amanda's gotten really irritated with Lauren...It's wretched.

I feel bad for Kevin. Apparently, he told Amanda today that he was starting to feel left out or something like that. On the one hand, it kind of irked me just because I think he was talking about the stories Lauren and I have been writing, and how his character is 'stale'. Admittedly, we haven't done much at all with the character. It's not out of some malicious need to disclude him, though; it's just hard to write male characters. No, I take that back. When you've completely made up a male character, it's easy because you can make them act however you want. However, when it's a character based entirely upon someone you actually know, things become ten times harder because you have to make sure you make that guy act the way he would really act. I have very little insight into the male psyche, and I haven't known Kevin long enough to really 'get' him. With Lauren and Amanda, my own feminine intuition lends itself to whatever gaps I might have in their personality. It's something I'll have to explain to Kevin, because I don't want him thinking I'm making his character boring on purpose. And yes, I know it's silly that any of us should be worrying over a STORY. But what can I say, people are sensitive about those sorts of things. ;)

So anyway, he went home for the weekend but he called Amanda and apparently said that under his breath or something like that. She and I both agree that we should say something to him, but Lauren was all, "No, who cares! I've been left out for like 10 years of my life, with absolutely no friends, blah blah blah," and Amanda got really irritated with that. She pointed out that because Lauren knew what it felt like, why would she want Kevin to feel like that? Lauren retorted that 1)He's probably feeling that way because we're all girls and naturally he's not going to have the same sort of bond that we have (and I agree with that), and 2)If he won't talk to Lauren or I about it (meaning, if Amanda's the only one he's going to tell), then Lauren's not going to bring up the subject. I don't agree with that one. Despite the fact that I tend to get tired of being around Kevin so much (because I'm more comfortable around girls than guys, for the most part), I still care about him and I'd never want him to feel that he was being left out. I know all too well what that feels like, and he's too good a guy to worry that we're leaving him out. What he needs are some other friends--guy friends--but even though he doesn't appear to have any of those, that doesn't mean we should treat him differently.

Lauren left the room at that point (not stalking out, just going to use the restroom), and Amanda just went off. She started ranting about how Lauren's egocentric and all this and that, and then she said that she didn't want to room with Lauren next year! >_< I feel kind of in the middle at this point. Yes, what Amanda said about Lauren is true. But I think it's all just talk on Lauren's part, and she doesn't really mean half of what she says. It's probably because of that view that I'm able to get along much better with her, and I haven't actually gotten irritated with her or anything like that. If I lived with her as Amanda does, then the story might be different, but as of right now I can get past the less favorable aspects of her personality. As for Amanda, I absolutely adore her. She's a real sweetheart, and even though I'm getting a little annoyed with the whole "Amber's a house elf" thing (hehe), I know that if I finally came out and said I'd had enough, she would stop teasing me. Kevin and I both agreed one night that Amanda's a really neat person. It's definitely weird in some ways that she'd be friends with Lauren, lol! Then again, I suppose it's weird that I would be friends with Lauren, eh? :P

Oo, the Harry Potter "party" was tonight. A bunch of us were waiting outside the library doors (they close at 5 on weekends, which I think is nuts) tonight, and when we were finally let in we were led upstairs to the conference room...which had a whole bunch of little kids in it. I almost started laughing, I felt so silly. Of course kids would be there! This is Harry Potter, after all! One of the kids--this really ugly, fat boy with an incongruous blond 'fro--looked exactly like Crabbe. I'm not even joking with you. And there was a pudgy, pug-nosed sort of girl who would've made a good Millicent Bulstrode. I was greatly amused by this. Thankfully, they all sat toward the back of the room...and they were QUIET! Amazing!

We took these little quizzes and were Sorted...I was put into Gryffindor, while Amanda and Lauren were Slytherins. :P The Crabbe lookalike was a Gryffindor, oddly enough, while another little boy (who I suspect was Crabbe's brother) was put into Slytherin. He might as well have been Goyle, as mean as he looked...

Roight. So the snacks were your usual fare of chips and popcorn, but they also attempted to make butterbeer, which was really good but was made with hot apple cider (so of course it didn't taste buttery at all). While we were drinking our hot butterbeer, we had to write our names down on little slips of paper and put them in a witch's hat. Midway through the movie, the organizer of this little shindig stopped the tape and drew out the names. Most of the prizes were cheap little things like stickers and plastic cups, but they had a few other things like a small owl and a Harry Potter blanket, hehe...I actually ended up winning something! It's a COS poster book thingy, which is kinda neat because I can hang the cute pictures up on my wall. ;) Amanda got a silly little folder with Bertie Bott's beans on it, and Lauren won two tickets to see the new movie when it comes out.

Y'know how it seems that most things are rigged so that the little kids win everything (because they handle losses much more poorly than adults)? I don't think even one of the kids won anything. It was very odd, but incredibly amusing at the same time. In all honesty, had I gotten something like the cup or the stickers, or that folder Amanda got, I would've given it to one of the kids. I should have given the poster book to one of them, but I'd been planning on buying it anyway, so that just saved me a few bucks.

When we left the library, rain was pooring down...and none of us had an umbrella. That was a miserable, cold walk back to their room!

Anyway, I guess that's it. It's after 2 am, I still need to take a shower, and I'd been hoping to tape up some pictures...but that'll have to wait until after I wake up.

What do you all think of my new design? I've begun to really like the Moody Blues song "Om", and the one line (Hurry high butterfly) inspired me to finally change my design (even though I still like Kuririn)! I'm very pleased with the way it all turned out...I think it's the prettiest design I've ever made before! And of course, having the Moodies' lyrics just adds to the appeal for me. ;) I couldn't get the page with the butterfly tubes to load, so my little credit link at the bottom looks silly. Hopefully the page'll load later. Anyway, that really IS all I have to say now!