Today's rambling: The good, the bad
Written on Monday, Oct. 14, 2002 at 11:02 p.m.
while feeling a bit

We carved pumpkins tonight, and I made a pretty butterfly design, but it didn't work so well in the carving stage as it did in the drawing stage. So it kind of looks like a deformed butterfly. I took pictures of people with their pumpkins, and then a whole bunch of girls decided they wanted a picture of all of them piled atop one another, like a flat pyramid or something. I'm not exactly sure why I stayed. When Becca and Sarah walked by, all the girls were like, "Hey, come get on top!" (heh) But I'd been there the whole time, and no one ever asked me.

It's silly to get upset over something like that, I know. It's not like I'm bosom friends with any of them, but...I dunno, I guess it's just me feeling like I'm in high school again, where kids would talk with me and everything, but never really include me in things. Sure, I could have been like, "Hey, I wanna be included, too!" but if they'd wanted me in the pictures, they would have invited me. So I was a little put out over that. Kristen said she'd feel left out if that had happened to her...in fact, she said that was the reason why she didn't stay out there after the pumpkins were photographed: she knew they'd disclude her. Oh well, we've both got our own group of close friends, so I guess this subtle snubbing doesn't really matter in the long run.

It's kinda like the same thing with Jess, in a way. For awhile, I wanted to be her friend really badly for some reason. Now, I'm happy to talk to her and everything, but I realized that she isn't exactly 'my type' (as far as friends go) and that I'd be just as happy whether we became good friends or not. She's still a really cute girl, and we'll say hi if we see each other or something, but we're not close friends. She practically pounced on Pam when Pam came back this weekend, and the only person who'd even known I had also been away was my roommate. One of the penalties of being "the quiet one", I suppose.

In better news, I talked to my French professor after class today, and she asked me if I'd registered yet for next semester. I thought she'd meant my classes in general, but it turns out she was referring to French class. When I said I hadn't registered yet, she said something about knowing I'd do fine in my next French course. She said I'd been doing really well, and that got me to talking about the placement test I'd taken during orientation. When I told her that the computer had placed me in French I, her eyes went wide. After relating the whole "the woman I spoke to decided I should be in French II, blah blah blah" story, my professor was like, "You would have been so bored in French I!" She even said that she was surprised I wasn't already taking intensive intermediate French (III and IV put together)!

I was so happy, because as I've said in a previous entry, French is like my thing. I got so jealous of Miranda when the professor complimented her French abilities, and at that point I started to feel competitive. By this point, I've lost that absurd urge, but it was still very pleasing to hear my professor compliment me like that.

To brighten things further, I got the rewrite of my reading report back today in Writing. I didn't really do THAT much better, but she gave me three extra points, which brought me up to a 40/50, or a B. I was very happy with that, too, since I'd been hoping for a B. Of course, an A would be the best grade, but I am going to be satisfied with anything that is a C or above. For me, a B in this class is like getting an A.

Isn't it kind of funny how a lot of people can do really well in a foreign language, yet do horribly in their English classes? I know it's because you do more sophisticated, complicated stuff in English classes (since it's the native language and you have more facility with it), but it still strikes me as funny. I want to be fluent in French. Even if the French hate us (well, they seem to hate everyone, judging by everything people say), I still think their language is gorgeous. The only other language I really have any interest in learning is Japanese. Well, Italian would be cool, too, because it's another one of those romantic languages. I don't really have any fondness for Spanish, because it sounds too harsh for my ears. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, it's just not one of my personal favorites. Actually, when it comes to sounding harsh, I think German would top that. Sorry for any Germans out there. :P It'd probably be really hard to learn, too...

I wonder how people pick their foreign languages. For me, it was a combination of really being interested in the language, and my ability to do that throaty 'r' thing. If I could roll my r's, I probably would have ended up taking at least a year of Spanish, but I can't do that tongue-rolling thing at all, and it would have bothered me to take Spanish if I couldn't speak it properly. But I can do the throaty sort of r, hehe...Except for strange words like yaourt (yogurt). I tried saying that over and over today, and I just can't get it! I can't even pronounce it right, much less add the proper r sound at the end! :P But I love words like 'fromage' and 'citron press�', because the r's are so much fun.

I'm really tired, and so I think I'll go to bed. I ought to go in and wash my hair, but maybe I'll just save that for tomorrow. I've got to get up early so that I can do my on-air assignment for DJ training. Oo, and tomorrow after Message Design, I'm going to go to that depression screening thing. *chuckles* I guess that statement wasn't really worthy of an 'oo', but it'd be nice to find out for sure.

There are things that my roommate does that really irritate me. This morning, for example, I remarked that I wouldn't have anyone to eat breakfast with because Lauren et al wouldn't be there. Kristen said I could eat with her, and then I joked that I could never find her. "Well, if ya got ready faster..." was her retort. I immediately closed myself off. Y'know, just because YOU need 10 hours to eat your breakfast and you get ready faster than I do, that doesn't mean I'm taking an insanely long time. If you knew about how self-conscious I am regarding my appearance, you'd understand why I take longer than you do. I'm not gifted with thick hair that I can just leave down; I have to do SOMETHING with it or else the light shines off my exposed scalp...and as my skin is also oily by nature, the light can most definitely do some shining. If I could just leave my hair down as you do, I'd be done QUITE a bit earlier!

Lauren laughed when I told her a little about it, saying that the other day at breakfast, Kristen had told them that I take forever to get ready, and then she said that I lay in bed 'for like half an hour' after my alarm rings. Ummm, no...Yes, I used to do that when I was still living at home, but since I give myself so little time in the morning now, I get up as soon as Kristen leaves the room to take her shower. Literally. The moment the door shuts behind her, I'm out of bed. So I guess that's why she doesn't realize that I'm only laying there for about 3 or 4 minutes. I guess to her, that's an incredible amount of time. This is the major reason why I hate living with an overachiever. If I was with someone like me, she wouldn't get on my case about the length of time I take to get ready, and she wouldn't care that I sleep in late, and she CERTAINLY wouldn't get on my case for not doing my homework the very first second I can.

See, it's a good thing to concentrate on academics. That's what we're all (hopefully) here for. But when Kristen looks back on her college life, years and years from now, she's going to think, "What did I DO there other than study?" She passes up on sleepovers and things so that she can do homework that's not even do for several days. She leaves social stuff early because she says she has homework to do. Now, I'm not a social person by any means, but compared to her I feel like a social butterfly! I procrastinate 'til the last possible minute, yes, but the only class it's probably hindering me in is Writing. I just don't NEED to study all the time like she does. It's important to me to be as perfect as possible...well, it's more like a terrible character flaw, since if I know I won't be really really good at something, I won't try it. But anyway, despite that, I still think I have a healthy balance between my social and academic lives.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't rant about her, since generally speaking she IS a nice sort of person. I feel like she's gotten a little more aggressive since she's been here, which isn't really a good thing, hehe...she got me irritated tonight again when, as I was telling her about how I thought I was kinda submissive, kinda passive-aggressive, she told me that I was passive-aggressive...because I get angry at people and then talk about them behind their back. I dunno, that just really got me. Yes, I know I rant about people when they're not there, but...gah, I'm sorry. Stop, Amber!

Pam loved my 'Ho On The Range' song so much that she put it up in her profile! LOL...here, for your benefit, I'll share the song with you. Think of the tune "Home On The Range" and then insert these words:

Ho, ho on the range
Where the men and the lesbians play
Where seldom is heard
A discouragin' word
'Cause she's droppin' her panties all day

Hee hee hee...The 'lesbians' part is only there because it helped fit the rhythm of the song. I realize it's kinda dumb to have it in there, but it makes the words fit the rhythm and so that's all I care about. ;)

Anyway, this has gone on long enough, so I guess I should post it. � demain!