Today's rambling: Introspective stuff
Written on Saturday, Aug. 10, 2002 at 5:14 p.m.
while feeling a bit

BLEH!

Came in to work at 5 this morning, and I was looking forward to Geoff starting at 8. When he did, I of course went over to talk to him...and after the usual greetings, I said, "So, are we still on tonight, or no?"

"No, actually," he replied, sounding a little chagrined. Turns out, his sister and her husband just flew in from Pittsburgh last night. Tonight, they're going out to Red Lobster for dinner.

I was so bummed out! I mean, I totally understand and all--they're celebrating Geoff's birthday, which is nice--but I was waiting for tonight since Wednesday! *sighs* A few hours later, I cornered him in the dairy cooler...well, not that I think he minded, since his face lit up into a smile when he saw me, hehe...Anyway, I leaned against the doorjamb, put on my best beguiling expression (which probably wasn't that great), and asked, "So, can I get a raincheck?"

For a brief moment, he looked at me quizzically, trying to figure out what I was talking about. Then the light bulb clicked on, and he said 'yeah' in an "Of course" tone of voice. Who knows when I'll be able to cash the raincheck in, however. :P

I felt really bad for him. He was telling me that his family has just gotten wackier and wackier over the years, and now they're really loud and obnoxious in restaurants. There'll be 11 of them total, and this particular restaurant doesn't take reservations, so he said he doesn't know HOW long they'll be sitting there. He told me that it would be fine if they could just sit out on the back porch or something, but he didn't really want to be in a restaurant with them.

"So just put your foot down and say 'it's MY party, and I wanna sit out on the porch!'" I told him, grinning.

That was when he told me that, being the youngest sibling, he wasn't permitted to make any of the decisions. His eldest sister (the one who flew in from Pittsburgh) chose Red Lobster for some really drawn-out reason, and so that's what he's stuck with. How much would THAT suck? If it was MY birthday, I wouldn't want to be dragged out to a place I didn't even want to go to!

Anyway, he was just looking very lost and forlorn today, and I felt bad for him. Mom and I both think he'll have fun once they all get to the restaurant and everything, but he definitely looked like he wasn't looking forward to it! At one point, he and I were walking out of the freezer and he made some kind of sarcastic comment. "Geoff?" I said, looking up at him with wide eyes. "I love you!"

He laughed, so that made me feel better, hehe...Now, wonder what he would've done if he'd known I wasn't really joking? *giggles* ;)

Debbie and a couple of other people keep reminding me that I'm going to be in college soon (two weeks!!!), and so I shouldn't 'settle down'. Since when was I ever talking about marriage? Hehe...no, I know what they mean, and even though they're older and have more life experience, it sort of irritates me to hear them say that. Like I said, it's not as if I'm talking about marriage here, but why should I just 'give up' on Geoff because I'm going off to college?

I've spent the past 21 years of my life without having any sort of serious relationship (that all-too-brief fling with my first/only boyfriend hardly counts, as we only had 2 or 3 'dates'). What makes anyone think that college is going to suddenly bring a flood of men trying to date me? I've spent around 10 months trying to win this guy over, which does seem a little pathetic, true enough. But it's finally working, and this is a guy that I can honestly imagine becoming serious with!

Actually, you know what? I take back what I said about 10 months being pathetic. It would've been kinda sad if I'd already known the guy, but most of this time has been spent just building up a friendship! We both had to get to know each other first, which doesn't happen all that quickly, but apparently he's seen something he likes in me, because I really think he does like me...though don't quote me on that, because I've been wrong before!

Even though it's been trying at times, I'm glad I've had to wait all this time. Even just a few months ago, I don't think I knew him as well as I do now. I've liked him the entire time, obviously (otherwise, I never would've started to befriend him), but I feel like it's a deeper sort of affection now that I know him better.

*chuckles and ducks her head* Alright, enough mushy introspective stuff.

Mom told me that she and Jason were talking in the smoking room at one point today. He was telling her about how this guy came up to me and asked if there was peanut butter in the peanut butter cups (I'm not even joking about that one), and he (Jason) was just WAITING for me to say something like, "Of course, dipshit!"

Then he told her about what I said to Karen, and Mom was like, "Yeah, she's not one to mince words, is she?" to which Jason laughingly agreed that I'm not.

It was nice hearing this, because I feel like maybe Jason actually does like me (as a person, not as girlfriend material). I figured maybe he was just sort of tolerating me...and who knows, maybe that's true, but I'm hoping he actually thinks I'm kind of a cool person.

The other thing that made me start thinking was how they were both like, "She's not one to mince words!" Even just a year ago, I never would have said what I did to Karen. And I wouldn't have stood up to Jason about the setups like I did at the beginning, either. I'm finally starting to learn to be assertive...and true, it's coming in tiny little baby steps, but even this small bit of progress is encouraging! Guess my job has done something good for me after all. ^_^

There was an interesting article in my YM magazine. Something about "Multiple Intelligences Theory" (that's probably not verbatim), which basically means that even though you could be an A+ student in school, you could suck at simple, everyday things like giving directions or something like that. After the introduction, there were a series of statements, and you had to circle all that applied to you. Three in one intelligence category meant that you're very strong there, whereas one or two means you're moderate. I got ones and twos in all categories except 'visual smarts' and 'body smarts'. Maybe I should type that thing out here so everyone else can look at it...though I'm sure there's plenty of information about it on the Internet.

Okay, I think I'm through talking now. There's a very patient girl who's been waiting for me to tell her why Geoff and I aren't going out tonight. *giggles and hugs her Caseybug*