Today's rambling: Frustration leads you nowhere!
Written on Sunday, Jul. 07, 2002 at 8:10 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I walked into the bakery this morning and promptly discovered that Karen had called out sick. I use the term 'sick' very loosely, unless of course having a hangover counts. And even though I'm sure it IS terrible enough to constitute staying in bed...HELLO! She KNEW she had to work, yet she went out to the bar (as she does virtually every day) and got herself wasted??? Real professional there. Thanks a lot, you witch.

It's bad enough that she left me with two cakes (one of them a full-sheet, which takes me at LEAST 45 minutes to finish) yesterday, when I only had about an hour and a half left to my shift. She came in close to 9 am, and left around 3. She couldn't even be bothered to do that measly quarter-sheet for me? Geez.

And then, right before she left, we both agreed that the two cakes for 9 am this morning could be done if we both did one. Again, she KNEW that I would be pressed for time, and yet she just ditched me anyway!

It's funny how I can stay fairly calm when Mom and I get lost on the road, or we're not exactly sure where we've parked. Yet when things like this happen--stuff needing to be done by a certain time and not having enough help to accomplish that stuff--I go crazy. So as I was base-icing my first cake this morning, I noticed that the icing tip I was using had been bent slightly out of shape. Now, the tip I'm talking about is wide, and should be relatively flat. One side is straight, while the other side is jagged (which makes the frosting look like it's been combed if you leave that side up). I was so frustrated and upset that, despite my slippery, greasy fingers (and the equally-greasy tip), I proceeded to take the handle of a cake-cutting knife and bear down upon the tip with it, in an attempt to flatten it again. (Bit of a run-on, eh?) I'm lucky I didn't slice myself with the knife, heh...it had a scalloped sort of blade, so it would've hurt a little bit!

What ended up happening didn't feel so swell either, however. As any sane person could have predicted, the handle of the knife slid right off the tip, with all the pressure I'd been putting on it, and my hand went with it. The jagged metal side of the icing tip went across my pinky, ring finger, middle finger, and thumb. I immediately dropped the knife on the floor and walked away from the decorator's section, muffling a curse at the pain. When I finally dared to glance down, there was already blood dripping from my three wounded fingers...my thumb looked more like it had been given some deep scratches from a cat.

Everything just snapped at that moment, as I pressed some paper towels to my bleeding hand, and tears went running down my face. I don't usually cry when I hurt myself anymore--it'd have to be something unbelievably painful for me to do that--but my nerves had been so tense that this just seemed to be what released that tension. So I sat at John's old desk (he's not bakery manager anymore, did I mention that?) and sniffled quietly to myself. Mare finally noticed, though, and gave me some ice first, then handed me the big package of band-aids she always keeps on hand.

I'll know not to try and straighten icing tips again, hehe...

In my daily Geoff news, I think Fate has decided that I shouldn't say anything to him yet about the fact that I like him. I was bound and determined to do so today on break, but we didn't have even ONE moment to ourselves! And I certainly wasn't going to declare my devotion to him while there were others present. ;) So who knows when the right opportunity will present itself.

He walked over at one point today to ask if Jason was around (though he didn't seem to unhappy to have to talk to me, hehe). I turned to Mare and said, "Look, Mare! It's the man who broke my heart." I don't know if he understood the reference to last night's turn-down.

I think I forgot to mention yesterday that Geoff's brother had come into the store. I didn't know about it until after the fact, and I was all upset. "I've been wanting to meet him for ages now, and when he finally comes in, you don't even introduce him!"

Yes, I realize it probably would've been a little weird for him to have introduced his brother to me. John (the bro) no doubt would've gotten the idea that Geoff had serious feelings for me or something, and there would've been a lot of teasing. But still, I've been dying to find out what he looks like! Geoff told me, "He looks like me, only older and fatter," but I'd like to find out for myself, hehe...Even Beverly got to see him! She'd walked back with us to the break room, and she said, "Doesn't he have curlier hair than you? And blond?"

Apparently, when John was in his younger days, his hair made him look like Roger Daltrey (from The Who). Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Who knows when I'll get to see him. Actually, all of Geoff's story about him have me slightly scared to meet him (because he's even weirder than Geoff, which is almost hard to believe). But at the same time, it would still be interesting. *shrug* Geoff's my future husband, so it's alright. I still have time. ;)

Someone else posted in the Hogwarts thread with me and Jam, and I feel inspired to post again...but my ideas come from my other character's point of view, and I don't have his bio written yet...which means no posting yet! *sigh* I've given myself a day off tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get the bio done then...AND get back on my desktop so I can put up the design Jam made me! :oP

Speaking of my day off tomorrow...I probably actually ought to go in. I wasn't put on the schedule at all, because Mom's schedule hadn't been made yet (and since we carpool, hehe, I have to go by her schedule). Her schedule was finished DAYS ago, yet Jason nor John did anything about it. So, I figured I'd just wait it out and see what happened. I would have mentioned it today, if it hadn't been for Karen's antics. Joanne's still on vacation, which means that if I went in tomorrow, I'd no doubt have to help Karen. And I won't do that. Not after what she did to me. I didn't even bother cleaning all the utensils...so if she wants to use a base-icing bag, she'll have to clean them herself. It's a petty victory, but it's the best I could do, seeing as she'll only have one cake order to do. I almost wish Zenon hadn't saved the day and gotten those two photosheets for me (those are what photos get printed on when we put them on cakes). Then SHE'D be the one who'd have to lie to the customer.

Oh yeah. She called me this morning, telling me that I should just tell the customer who'd ordered the photo cake that our machine was broken. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I can't lie. Maybe tiny white lies, like, "Oh yeah, your hair looks nice", but for things like this, I'd rather get yelled at than have to deal with the guilt of having lied. At any rate, Nicole got REALLY irritated that Karen had called back to give me orders. As she put it, "If you're sick enough to have to stay home, you shouldn't be on the phone."

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. I think I'm going to finally write out that $75 check, so I can send my Housing Agreement to Clarion. The part that's gonna hurt is filling out the meal plan thing. The cheapest one is like $760, or something like that, and not only is that per semester, but it's not even included in the tuition costs! You HAVE to sign up for one of the plans, too, if you're staying in one of the residence halls. That's not fair. I can't technically afford this as it is, but to have to pay that much extra just for a meal ticket (when I doubt I'll end up eating those 19 meals a week)?? Grr.

For my internship (this is quite a way off), I'm thinking of trying to get into some kind of interpreter place instead. Mom keeps saying that French interpreters make a lot of money, and I recently discovered that DJs don't...but we'll just have to see. As I go through my classes, I'll find out which interests me more and then go for that, no matter WHAT the pay.

Right. I said I was going to go, didn't I? Don't push me! :P