Today's rambling: Dear Sir or Madam...
Written on Thursday, May. 02, 2002 at 2:40 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Dear Folks Who Shall Determine My Future:

I am an ass. Not just any ass: a Big Ass. You see, I thought I was ahead of my game. I thought I had plenty of time to fill out that demonic form you call the FAFSA. I continued to put it off because all those tax-related questions intimidated me to the point where I feared I might wet myself if forced to answer them. And when I'd finally gotten up the courage to go back to your site and click on the link to fill out said form...I discovered that I was too late. The deadline was TODAY! May 1st!

I still had 20 minutes left until the clock struck midnight and all my chances were lost, however. I quickly set to work filling this form out, relieved that I had all the necessary documentation, the required body limbs for sacrifice...

Midnight passed, and then so did one o'clock, and I was feeling frustrated. And then my computer froze. And all my information was lost. I cried then, I tell you. Or at least, I would have liked to. But, like any person trying to cover up their stupidity, I went right back to that FAFSA form and began filling it all out again.

I thought I might make it all within a short amount of time, short enough that I could persuade you to my cause and be granted forgiveness, but alas, it was not to be. Despite my 21st birthday falling in less than 2 months, I was still considered a 'dependent student' and therefore had to have a PARENT sign this form that I worked so laboriously to complete! They treated me like a mere MINOR! And because of this tragedy, my FAFSA will not be filed anywhere near the deadline date!

This, Fine Folks, is why I have labeled myself as a Big Ass. A Big, Furry, Braying Ass. I'm sure you'll agree with me.

Now, if you'll just give me a carrot, pat me on my head, and tell me everything will be alright, I'll feel better.

Signed,
Miss Berry