Today's rambling: Wow...thoughts...
Written on Thursday, Mar. 21, 2002 at 11:19 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Yeah, I've decided I want to copy an entry from my paper diary to this one. Sure, it's about Geoff, and so that's probably just halved my audience, but oh well, I sort of like the thoughts this entry provoked. Makes me sound like more than just the giggling schoolgirl who recounts every moment her crush bestowed attention upon her. ;)

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Wednesday, 3/20

Reading back through some of my entries, I was reminded of when Geoff drove me home. I never really went into much detail, but when he showed me the warehouse where he used to work...It was a run-down building that's no longer used: the loading docks are all boarded up, everything looks generally dilapidated. There's an old sign by the door that still has the old Genuardi's logo on it...Now, the "G" is made to look like an apple, but back then it was a flashier sort of "G". Anyway, Geoff pulled up right in front of the warehouse, parked so that we were facing it. Across the parking lot behind us, there were men standing in the doorway of presumably another warehouse, but Geoff didn't even notice. A silly notion flashed through my mind, that we looked like we'd parked in one of those old-fashioned "make-out points". Obviously, nothing like that happened. ;) Instead, Geoff was leaning forward, looking intently at that sign. I can imagine memories were rushing through his mind, of late nights spent packing stuff onto pallets to be shipped off, of joking with the other guys, perhaps even of being younger again. He told me a story, as we were leaving, about nights when he would step outside for a cigarette break (he doesn't smoke now) and there was some guy who roamed the adjacent railroad tracks, yelling loudly about nothing in particular. I wish I could've done more than laugh like an airheaded blonde. I wish I could have made the observations that I've just made...y'know, acknowledge the fact that a whole parade of memories must've just passed by him as he sat gazing at that old building. In some way, I almost feel as if he'd shown me a special part of his life by taking me there. Sure, it was just a warehouse, but it was also a piece of his past. Maybe I'm the only one thinking sentimentally, here...maybe for Geoff, it was just fun to show me around. I don't know. I just can't believe I didn't elaborate on that part when it first happened. Too excited that it DID happen, I suppose.

Sometimes, I find myself wondering what he looked like when he was younger. Not that 33 is old, but what did he look like when he was 20? On that ride home, he talked about how he used to be "in shape", how he used to bike ride and other such things. I think he looks fine now, of course, but I can't help wishing I could've seen him back then. If he looked now as he did then, would I still feel the same about him? Or would things be purely superficial? And for that matter, would it have been as easy for me to make friends with him? The way a person looks sometimes affects their personality (i.e. a really hot guy wouldn't be as incline to associate with a plain girl like me), and while he might not be like that, who can really tell? I think Geoff went through a lot of changes personality-wise from his twenties until now. He tells stories of how he used to get smashed a lot, and while he tells these tales with a laughing air, they still show the change in him. So I guess now the question is: would I have wanted to be friends with someone like that? I think I'm glad to have met him exactly as he is now.

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Heh...Probably sounds like melodramatic drivel, right? Don't answer that.

Anyway, now my fingers are sore from all that typing. So I'm going to find other relaxing pursuits. :oP