Today's rambling: I'm the hitman
Written on March 09, 2002 at 10:30 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Which female character from Final Fantasy 4-10 are you?

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(Me? Brave?)

The second one in my results list (Aeris) was so cute, but I won't stick it up here because one is more than enough!

So yeah, today sucked royally, and tomorrow's probably just going to be worse...and so on and so on, in rapid succession until my work life has become a miserable pit of despair. And it's all because of John. THANK YOU, JOHN!!!

I had to work with Joanne today, which didn't thrill me in the slightest because I'm tired of her two-faced behavior, and I'm tired of how everything is her way or no way. Sorry, I was never properly trained in the bakery. You're an old wench and have your own way of doing things, but let me do things the way I feel comfortable doing them, instead of getting on my case about everything. (Can you tell just how lovely my day went yet?)

There I was, icing cupcakes and putting little green sprinkles on them for St. Patrick's day, when John asks if he can 'borrow' me. When I asked what he needed me for, he said he wanted to chat. Cue the bells of doom, please.

He closed me in the "conference room" and began to tell me that he could no longer go by the agreement we'd had from the time I was hired (the "you'll work your mother's schedule" agreement). From now on, I have to work the schedule that he makes up, and if Mom doesn't work, well then, I'll have to find my own ride in.

Let me get something straight, here. I have only one other way of getting to the store, and that is Linda. She doesn't work the same hours that he schedules me, and so even if I DID get a ride in with her, I'd have to come in later. And sometimes leave earlier. But that's not the point. The point is that I will NOT impose upon her and ask for a ride as often as he'll undoubtedly want me to! It's rude! Just because she lives nearby doesn't mean she's going to want to drive out of her way every morning just to pick me up! As it is, we don't exactly have the best of relationships; she's friends with Mom, and she annoys the heck out of me because she's always whining...and when she's not whining, she's trying to tell me how to live my life ("Why don't you get your license?" "You should buy your own car, then you'd be motivated to get your license!" "Why don't you go to college?"). I've made it blatantly obvious on several occasions that her company annoys me, so there's yet another reason why I can't ask her to drive me to work all the time. I don't like using people.

But I digress. John told me all of this, then tried to say stuff like "You're a pleasant person to work with" and all of this other stuff that he obviously didn't mean. If he meant all that stuff, he wouldn't harass and belittle me all the time. So I sat there slouched in my chair, arms crossed, mentally muttering obscenities at him.

Oh yeah. And there've been "reports" that I do a lot of standing around and talking. I'm not even going to try denying that one, because it's true. Not EVERY day, but recently I've been doing a lot of wandering off and talking to Geoff or whatever. It beats staying in the bakery where I have to worry about John getting on my case. Or Mare or Joanne spying on me. Some of the "reports" probably came from when I was talking to Geoff on my breaks and lunches, though, hehe...Oh well, that part doesn't bother me. The little elementary school tattle games irritate me, but as long as I stay above their level, I'm fine.

*giggles* Oh, and apparently, he's been telling Dave that I'm openly defiant of him. Defiant! Woot! Go me, I've always wanted to be described as defiant! Doesn't it sound so free and warrior-like? :oP I haven't done anything to him that he hasn't deserved. He might've kissed enough bums to be given the title of "manager", but you have to EARN the respect that goes along with such a title, and thus far he's done nothing to earn it. I'm not going to treat him like something more than what he is when he can't even do his own employees the same courtesy!

Despite this newfound joy at being called defiant, my day was ruined. I was in a bad mood for the rest of the time I was there...and I'd only been working for about an hour or two when he had that little "chat" with me, so that left six or seven hours of silent misery. Frank asked me what was wrong, and of course I told him. Then I turned away, forgetting that he needed help lifting the mixing bowl full of pizza dough. A minute later I hear this loud CLANK! as the metal bowl slammed into the little wheelie thing we use to move the bowls around (I don't know what they're called, hehe). He had this really angry look on his face for a few moments...I know it wasn't at me, but I wonder if maybe my story had gotten him angry in that sort of protective way. Heh! Alright, it's a stretch. ;)

I don't remember what time it was, but I glanced up and saw Geoff showing a customer over to where the individual bottles of soda and juice are kept (it's a few feet across from the bakery). I looked down again, not wanting to catch his attention if he saw me looking, because I really didn't feel like talking. I don't know if he saw my expression, or if he just felt like saying hi, but as I was throwing something into the trashcan I caught a glimpse of him walking into the bakery. I looked up, and he kept walking toward me, this odd sort of intense expression on his face. He stopped about a foot in front of me, stared silently at me for a few moments (still with that weird expression), then finally stepped back and chuckled, shrugging as if he didn't know what he was doing.

Of course, I giggled--he always manages to put me in a good mood while he's talking to me! I told him what happened, then as he was walking away, I joked that I was going to hire a hitman to go after John. Not that I'd really do that, mind you. I'd prefer something more creative, like...a circus taking him away and using him in one of their freak shows. But he'd actually be a prisoner, and he'd never be able to escape so I'd never have to see him again!

Anyway, before I get my hopes up...

Later on I stopped by to talk to him (I was still on my lunch break, so it was legal!), but I wasn't chatting as much as I usually do. So finally he goes, "What's wrong, Amber?" Hehe...well, at least he noticed... ^^;

Mom talked to Dave right before leaving (I walked in right as the conversation ended, thank goodness), and apparently the two of them and John are going to have a meeting tomorrow. Today's conversation was how I knew about the defiant thing, because John's been telling Dave all sorts of stuff. The heartening part is that Dave hasn't taken sides, because he realizes he's only hearing John's side of the story. I have a suspicion that I'm going to be called in on this meeting tomorrow, and so since my thoughts all scatter whenever conflict arises, I've written out my arguments and my proof. I'm sure I'm still missing stuff, but at least the main stuff will be there...and anything I'm forgotten will hopefully resurface as I talk. Now the question is, will I actually be able to say this stuff while John's right there?

I'd especially love to be able to say the part that goes: "If I act in a manner that is considered "defiant" and "inappropriate", I do it only because he deserves no better. I don't put on airs around people; what you see is what you get, and I don't care if you're the President of America--if you act like an ass, you'll be treated like one. I try not to treat anyone as less than what they are, unless they behave in a manner that proves them as being less.

"If I think the way he treats me is bad, I can only be glad that I'm not Zenon, who takes the brunt of this man's insults and harassment. Zenon may be lacking upstairs at times, but he is a GOOD man, and he has a heart of gold. He treats all of us in the bakery like the human beings we are, not like the dirt he might pick up on the bottom of his shoes. He thanks us each and every day for our work, and what does he get in reward? John berating him for every little thing he's done wrong, with little or no recognition of what he's done right."

Plus more, but all those paragraphs basically rip into John for being such an abusing dictator-type person.

Anyway, I feel like I could collapse at any moment, and so I'm going to draw this entry to a close. Everyone, give me good vibes for tomorrow! With the feeling I have right now, I'm going to need every single one of them! :