Today's rambling: My day
Written on February 26, 2002 at 11:10 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I wonder if this invisible tracker is accurate. It says I've only gotten one visitor, and if I'm not mistaken, that was me looking over my new layout!! Yet if I click on the rainbow square (which leads to my other tracker), it'll say I've had tons more!

But here's where my still-unanswered question comes in: when my rainbow box tracker says that I got, say, 12 page views, and then on the referrals page all the links come from Google or Alta Vista or some other search engine (but usually just Google)...Does that mean that the page was hit just by the spider, or did the person searching actually look at my site? If I'm just getting all of these high numbers because of the Google spider, and not because anyone's actually seen this diary...well, I guess in truth I don't care so much. After all, it's my diary, and I'm not writing it for everyone else; I'm writing it for myself! So regardless of whether I get 4 views or 40, nothing will really change!

Except, you know, that I might get an inflated ego and walk around like I'm the Diaryland Diva...

Right. Anyway, to today! Yes, more work-related stories. Hey, when work comprises 98% of your life, it's hard to talk about anything else! I had to work that dreaded 11:30-8 shift, as I mentioned in a previous entry, and of course John and Zenon were already there. But thankfully John was out of the department pretty much all day so I didn't have to worry too much about him. One time he was there, though, he and Zenon started namecalling (jokingly), and John called him "Drool Face".

"I think you offended Amber," Mare teased, and I started laughing.

"Yeah, that was sexual harassment," I said, "And I like it."

I expected to get maybe a few chuckles, but otherwise hardly any reaction. Instead, both Zenon and John just sort of stared at me like, "Wha...?" and then John cracked up! His face turned red, and even Zenon started laughing, so of course I started laughing. It wasn't even all that funny!

What can I say, you get amused by just about anything around this place.

A little after 1:30 I decided to buy a drink, and feeling generous, I bought Zenon one as well. He's always offering to buy the other women and I sodas or coffee or whatever, but I always decline because I feel selfish or rude actually accepting. So today I figured I'd just repay him for at least offering. As I turned the corner and began walking up toward the registers, I spotted Geoff with his usual break-time fare. Hurrying my pace just a little bit, I ducked into the same line he'd just entered and said hello.

He paid for his stuff, slipped past me so he could walk to the back room, but then paused at the entrance to the line. "You going back?" he inquired, standing there as though waiting for me so we could walk back together. I hadn't planned on taking my break until 2:30 or so (because I like to wait for at least 3 hours before I take one), but who am I to pass up such an invitation? I had to give a hesitant, "I can ask..." first, though, because I wasn't sure if Zenon would allow me to go so early. Thus, Geoff walked back without me.

But I got to go on break early (maybe the soda mollified him), so I took my peach-papaya fruit drink and headed for the break room. Geoff was already seated at his customary spot against the wall, and diagonally across from him was Tom. Then at the other table was seated Joanne. I sat down next to Geoff, then realized I had absolutely nothing to say. *giggles*

Not that I would've needed anything to say, since Joanne ran her mouth the entire time. First she got on my case--slightly--for leaving things such a mess on Sunday. The only mess that I was aware of upon leaving were all the decorating bags that Erin piled up in a corner on the counter. Joanne said it took her two hours to clean up because there was icing everywhere, but I cleaned up both tabletops and the countertop, so any icing that she supposedly found was hidden from me! I saved her ass from being called in anyway; I don't appreciate being reprimanded!

When she finally left, I knew it was time for me to go anyway...I'd only intended on staying 10 minutes instead of 20 because I didn't want to impose on anyone.

(Mom just brought in $300 blinds that I'd told her repeatedly I did not want. She didn't buy them; I think Balding Charlie did. She was all like, "They're $300 blinds!" to which I retorted, "Well, I didn't ask for them!" So either way, it's a waste of money because I won't be using them. Go ahead and put them up, but I never raise my shades anyway. What's the purpose when all I get is watery twilight rays coming into my room?)

Where was I...Oh yeah, Joanne left and that pretty much ended my break as well. Ben had arrived prior to Joanne's departure (I swear he's magnetically attracted to Geoff or something--whenever Geoff goes on break or lunch, Ben's not far behind), and so that further hampered any discussion I might've had with Geoff. Ah, Fate, you are so cruel. But this is a good thing, because I said I was relegating him to friendship status, right?

Why is it that every time I make a firm decision to either give up on him or just stop trying for more than friendship, he does something that makes me wonder--even for just a brief time--if perhaps he really does like me as more than a friend? When I'm still pining for him (Jam, my Fount of Wisdom, where did that expression come from?), he'll occasionally do something that makes me think, "Wow! He's definitely interested!" Yet the previous times I've decided, "Berry, you will stop this nonsense right now," the very next time I see him he does something to change my mind! Horrible, confusing men!

But onward. Ever since I came in, I'd nurtured the crazy idea that if I got to make a bread announcement today, I'd say something really silly like "You couldn't find better bread if you traveled to France yourself!" Of course it was a lie (I'm sure France has much better bread than our supposed "French" baguettes), but cheesy stuff is good when you're trying to sell something. However, the announcement I was slowly forming in my mind also included a "Don't believe me? Then stop by the bakery department and ask for a sample!" and I wasn't sure if it was okay to offer samples like that over the PA system. So when I saw Dave at the salad bar, I approached and asked him.

"Go for it!" he exclaimed with a big, amused grin. "Have fun with it!"

"I won't actually be able to do it," I argued, grinning self-consciously. "I just wanted to know for curiosity's sake!" As I walked away, I heard him laugh.

Of course, deep down I knew that I was going to make this announcement, despite my fear and nervousness. I thought at the beginning of this new program that I'd absolutely hate going on the PA system, but it's made me rediscover that time from childhood when I loved to do this sort of thing (not make bread announcements, obviously, but just generally being "in the spotlight", so to speak). I knew that if I didn't just go ahead and make this stupid announcement, I'd berate myself afterward.

I practiced a couple times in the cooler (which is all but completely soundproof, hehe), then I dialed up 139, Geoff's extension. "Hi!" I greeted after he'd answered, forgoing my usual "Hi, it's Amber" greeting...I figured that after calling him so often, he'd know who it was. And he did.

"Are you out where you can hear the speakers?" I continued. When he said yes, I told him, "You're about to hear the cheesiest announcement I've ever made."

"I'm going to watch you," he stated in his usual serious-but-teasing tone.

"Don't you dare!" I exclaimed, laughing. He asked why not, and I informed him that it would make me start laughing in the middle of my spiel.

I'm not sure exactly what it was that made me turn around. I heard a noise, but I'm not sure if it was the sound of shoes scraping on the ground or his voice echoing not only on the phone, but from somewhere behind me as well. Either way, I turned around and glanced guardedly toward the bakery entrance closest to the frozen section. At first I didn't see anyone, but then I heard him say, "Look behind Karen." And wouldn't you know it, there he was.

I thought for sure that he'd end up standing right there until I finished my announcement, but after I'd made it (and was trembling noticeably from the aftereffects of nervousness), I turned around and saw that he was gone. But he told me a few minutes later when I saw him that I sounded good (after pretending he didn't even know what I was talking about. :oP).

That's about as interesting as my day got. As I was waiting for Mom to be finished tonight, I sat on the counter inside the "clock room" and tried to read some of The Talismans of Shannara. A kid named Jared (who I used to talk to a little when I still worked as a cashier) walked in, asked what I was reading, and said he liked that series! He thought I was just reading it for the first time, though. Heh! I even use the original receipt as a bookmark, which is dated January of 1997! Not that that necessarily means I've read the book before, but anyway...another Shannara fan! Wheeeee!!!!

At any rate, I've dragged this entry on for long enough. I had to wait 'til Mom got off the phone with Balding Charlie (the man talks incessantly...I can't stand people who just talk and talk like that), and by the time she DID (nearly 2 hours later), I was so tired that I almost didn't feel like coming online! Had my computer not already been started up, I probably wouldn't have. But now I'm going to try and finish my book (I'm almost at the end now), then I'll go to bed, and hopefully I'll get to call Tiff tomorrow! Mom was like, "Do you think she'll take you over to get your permit renewed?" The DMV building is only open 'til 4:15 (what an odd time to be open until), and both of us like to sleep about that long, hehe...so even if I DID get up the nerve to impose like that, I don't think it'd matter anyway!

We'll find something else to do. Hey, Tiff...wanna look for some furniture with me? ;) *giggles*