Today's rambling: THIS is peculiar.
Written on November 29, 2001 at 6:15 p.m.
while feeling a bit

*laughs* Ha ha HA!!!

I thought Tuesday was bad? Child's play, my friend. That was only the beginning of the hell that is suddenly my life.

Came in today and all was good. Well, maybe not GOOD, but I talked about Tuesday's Humiliation with a few people and they agreed with me that Kirsten was totally out of line. Not that that DOES anything, but it makes me feel better to know that I wasn't just blowing things out of proportion!

So at any rate I went on with my day (coolly ignoring Kirsten), not quite as cheerful as usual but not moping around, either. Basically, I was at a nice medium. Things weren't going nearly so bad as I thought they would! Geoff wasn't there, so I didn't have to worry about seeing HIM, Kirsten apparently had no interest in trying to talk to me...

Then I went on lunch. Saw Erin up front so I decided to go say hi to her. I said something to her about how I have no more respect for Kirsten, and she told me that last night she'd told Kirsten how much I'd been embarrassed and upset. "But that's what I do to everybody!" Kirsten had defended (thereby meaning that she teases everyone like that, if you hadn't understood that).

"Well you really embarrassed her! She was trying to ask him out!"

"She was? She...does know he has a girlfriend, right?"

I would like to request a moment of silence while those of you, my loyal friends, pick your jaws up from the floor.

Settled? Good, because I haven't even begun.

Girlfriend?!

Trying desperately to conceal my dismay, Erin continued with her story. As Kirsten said, "He doesn't talk about her, but he has a girlfriend. During his last vacation, he went up to Canada with her! You'd better tell her that..." Or something very much to that effect.

"I'm sorry!" Erin then cried. "I didn't want to upset you!"

Smiling grimly, I replied, "No, don't worry about it. I honestly don't even care anymore."

For a girl who hates to lie, that was sure a whopper. My heart had just BROKEN! This was the worst thing...how could he...?

So then on my way back to the break room, I got to thinking. Kirsten is apparently the only one who knows of this girlfriend. No one else who knows him has ever mentioned it. And yeah, she said that he doesn't talk about his girlfriend, but why would SHE be the only one privy to this knowledge? You'd think that maybe he would've shared it with one of the guys he works with.

I'm not saying at this point that I think she said that with the deliberate intention of upsetting me (meaning she made it up). She very well COULD have, given her deplorable actions on Tuesday night, but just because she likes to humiliate others doesn't mean she'd necessarily stoop THAT low. I'm not pushing that possibility out of view, however. After what she did, I won't put ANYTHING past her.

I just don't understand how, if he did have a girlfriend, he could've just kept it a big secret like that! I wasn't the only one who saw signs of him being interested in me; even people who hadn't been at the restaurant that night we all went out have said that they think he's interested in me! Which doesn't mean much in the whole scheme of things, I know. But wouldn't a guy maybe even once or twice CASUALLY mention his girlfriend? Such as when in conversation. If I mentioned that I hadn't folded my socks or something, maybe he'd pipe in with "My girlfriend just did her laundry the other night, and couldn't believe how many socks no longer had pairs!" Alright, that was a lame example, but you know what I mean? How could a person just NOT ever mention something like that? Even if he was the shy sort?

And then there's the fact that I was...not snuggled up exactly, but leaning up against him that night at the restaurant. Enough so that had he not had any thoughts toward me but friendship, he would have been quite uncomfortable. Do guys just put up with behavior like that, even if it makes them uncomfortable? If so, then here's my advice: STOP IT!!! It's ridiculous!

So to sum up (I don't even know if I've written down everything I was thinking), I'm completely confused on this subject, but at least I'm not QUITE as crestfallen as I was when I first heard the "news". Kirsten is either lying (in which case she's even slimier than I first thought), she was misinformed, Geoff DID have a girlfriend at one point but is no longer seeing her...or he currently, at this time, is dating someone. If the latter is the case, I hope I don't sound selfish when I say that I will not be speaking to that CREEP for quite some time to come. You don't just go on like that with someone if you already have a girlfriend! Or maybe that's just my naivet� showing through again.

Karen played devil's advocate for me today, hehe...I appreciated her advice, though. Basically, she just reaffirmed my thoughts, but she helped me out in other areas that I was unsure of. Don't act any differently around him, DON'T ask him if he has a girlfriend...just let things play out! And ignore Kirsten because she's just a spiteful little she-cat who lashes out when she feels threatened. I added that last little part myself. ;)

Anyway, there must be a storm coming through or something because my internet connection has been CRAPPEH. Therefore, I'm going to try to hastily post this, then get offline so I can eat my dinner...which is comprised entirely of breakfast foods (my favorite). I MIGHT be on later, but I'm absolutely worn out, so most likely this is the last y'all will see of me for the rest of the night! (for those of you who have me on their buddy lists, hehe!)

To Jam: THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL!!! *multiple huggles* I'll write you back as soon as possible! :oD

To Lola: If you went to Clarion, I would allow myself drown myself in loans so that I could go too. ^_^

To Tiff: I got your MSN message, and *hugs back!* Sorry I got disconnected and couldn't respond! :-