Today's rambling: W00t!
Written on Sunday, Apr. 25, 2004 at 9:20 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I talked to Geoff on the phone tonight for the first time in a couple weeks (well, I guess since I came back from break), and apparently he's already lost 13 pounds.

I know I shouldn't be announcing his weight-loss stuff here, but it just made me feel very proud of and happy for him! Of course, he's using that Atkin's thing to lose it all, but it's working for him so I didn't have the heart to denounce all things "no carbohydrates." I figure once he gets down to the weight he wants, then is the time to point out that to keep it off, you can eat the foods you want but make sure to exercise more. ;)

Actually, I'm sure I won't say anything at all to him, lol...I just think it's really great that he's already lost so much weight! He said his clothes are already fitting better, and I know that has to feel really good to him.

Anyway, I'll stop sounding like a mother now. ;) Not that there's really anything else to talk about, lol...I got my Finals' "Survivor Kits" yesterday from Mom and Dad (the college sends out these forms for parents to buy these things for their kids at Finals time, and Mom sent a copy up to Dad). It was a huge pain in the ass, and I had to go down twice because the girl didn't realize that I'd technically gotten THREE things, but two of them were from one parent and one was from the other. So I estimated when her shift would be over and went down after that.

Dad (out of guilt, I'm sure) bought the most expensive package they had (something he never would have done in my younger days), and it came with snacks, 4 apples, and 4 oranges. I very nearly started drooling the minute I saw that fruit, and as soon as I got the box open I snatched one of the Granny Smith apples and practically inhaled it. It's been so long since I've had fresh fruit!

Of course, then as I was sitting there eating said apple, I suddenly felt like I wanted to start crying. I don't think I'll ever get over that feeling when I think about my father in good terms. I know there are moments where he CAN be a nice guy, but for the most part...well I mean, come on. What decent person would have abruptly stopped all payments and allowed a house to foreclose on his wife and daughter? And then not felt in the least guilty about it? My father's problem is that he thinks completely in practical/analytical terms, and doesn't really know what emotions are. Well, obviously he knows about lust (what man doesn't?), but as for real emotions, he's always been a bit lacking.

I don't know why I always get this overwhelming urge to curl up in the fetal position and bawl when I think about him, though. I guess maybe a part of me's idealized the past...Well no, I just miss the way it was back then, period. He was hardly ever around, but there were times when I'd get so excited on the day he was coming home from a visit. We never did anything, because our interests are so different, but it was just the knowledge that he was at home, and things felt safer somehow.

*sighs* If I ever get married, I will chain my husband to the house and never let him leave. LOL...great plan, eh? I just never want this kind of crap to happen again.

Then again, at the rate I'm going, I definitely don't need to worry about marriage at all! *rolls eyes*