Today's rambling: What a crappy day!
Written on Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004 at 8:47 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Gah. I thought I'd gotten to a point where I could tolerate Jamie, but now I just want to kick her again. Because she is such a BITCH to work with.

Last night, I tried telling her that I can't work on Thursdays anymore. Yeah, it kinda sucks for them, but at the same time it's not fair to me. I have Phi Sigma Pi obligations too, and they're more important to me than some clique-y television station. I don't think it's too much to ask to work at the TV station two nights a week (Tuesdays and Wednesdays) so that I can have 2 nights (Mondays and Thursdays) to go to study tables and initiate activities. Yet Jamie had to make a great big deal about it, as though everything is just going to fall apart because I can't be there to stand between the cameras and tell Camera 1 that he needs to pan right a little more or tilt up/down.

Watch me as I cry.

And then tonight, I got there well after 6 (as usual), and was sitting there around 6:43. Jamie walks past with this staring sort of expression, and I thought she was just playing around so I said, "You gotta problem??"

"Yeah," she replied, continuing to walk toward the lights, "I'm doing your job!"

Umm...we still had over 15 minutes until the news started...AND I'd been about to turn the lights on anyway. But she has to have everything done IMMEDIATELY, because if it's even like one second later than she orders it, she freaks out. Seriously. She starts screaming and getting all tensed up and whatever...gah, I just want to punch her. (LOL, I'm getting the 'I want to punch them' expression from Jess...she's corrupting me.)

I'm tired of dealing with her. She's overbearing and psychotic, and I definitely don't have to be there anymore if I don't want to be. It's not like I HAVE to be there. I'm doing them a favor by helping out. And one night off isn't going to kill them. So I'm just going to talk to Kyle. He's more laid back about this stuff, so hopefully he'll say it's alright. And if not, I'll just get pushy. Because I'm not doing this anymore!

*nods firmly*

I'm leaving for Pittsburgh tomorrow. I can't wait. It's going to be an awesome trip!

Yesterday, I was walking up to my dorm and I happened to look to my right. I love the view, because we're on a hilltop and it gives you this really beautiful view of countryside. In the winter, you can see the little shopping center a mile or two away (because there are no leaves on the trees to block it), but somehow it just adds to the view. I can never explain the feeling that wells up inside whenever I look to the horizon. It's this sort of longing, this wishing that I could just fly off into it, go somewhere I've never been before. When I finally get a car, there will be much of this going off into the horizon. I won't have any destination in mind; it's just going to be me driving off into whatever landscape seems most interesting. Maybe it IS a need to escape from my current life, but I don't know. Like I said, I just can't explain the feeling I get whenever I gaze off into the distance like that. It's just so beautiful and...endless, I guess. Makes me realize that there are so many places I've never been, places that are gorgeous and untouched (or relatively so, at least)...

"Why Georgia" is a song that fits right in with that sort of mood. Whenever I listen to it, I automatically get that wistful, longing feeling. I mean heck, the first few lines talk about him wanting to just keep on driving right past the exit to his apartment! And the music just captures it perfectly; I can imagine being in the car, the window down and the wind just kind of blowing in and tousling my hair...

*sighs*

Anyway, I'm going to go lay down, I think. I finally got a hold of Geoff today, and he told me to call him around 9. I've missed talking to him! But then, that's no surprise. ;)

Kevin canceled the music lesson thingy today. :( It was gonna be our first one, too! Part of me can't help wondering if he was just making an excuse (because he never said anything before about having to watch that play for an assignment), but at the same time, what if he is? It's not like I'm paying him to do this, so it's not like he has any obligations. This is just me being disappointed over the fact that I didn't get to start my lessons, hehe...But ah well, there's always next week!