Today's rambling: One of those days
Written on Sunday, Mar. 16, 2003 at 3:52 p.m.
while feeling a bit

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'Woah dude' sounds more like surfer lingo, heh... ;)

Anyway, today is another one of those gorgeous, 'listen to Oldies and feel groovy' kind of days. I think it's like 70-some degrees outside, the sun is shining warmly...and I'm sitting here in my room feeling miserable. Well, perhaps not miserable exactly. I mean, it's impossible to feel completely horrible when it's so beautiful outside! But I backed out of doing the birthday thing that Amanda had planned for Lauren today...her birthday is actually later this week, but I guess most of my reluctance in going is that I just don't feel that close to her. There are times when I get along really well with her and I'm glad I'm her friend, but she's just so superficial and overly dramatic that I can't get close to her (as friends should be able to). So that's probably why I wasn't interested in going. Yet at the same time, I want to go outside and do something. It's too peaceful and warm and just...wonderful to stay inside this room all day. I want to go outside, nestle myself against a cluster of tree trunks, and just be able to sit there undisturbed. Maybe I'd bring a book or something to write on, but most likely I'd just sit there with my eyes closed, letting myself enjoy the weather.

Mmmm...just thinking about it is making me wish I was at home, where I could do that without people constantly walking by. That's the biggest thing I hate about college: people are everywhere. And yes, of course that's a given, but it's bloody annoying when you're the sort of person who'd like to just get away sometimes. These sorts of days make me more intensely private for some reason. You'd think it would be the cloudy, icky days that would do that, but I'd rather be by myself on days like this, so I could sit and meditate or something.

I wonder how damp the ground is. It's been like a swamp for a week now, but after two days of sunshine I'm sure it's dry enough that I could bring a towel to sit on or something. Hmm...I dunno, it's just not the same when there are people walking by wondering what in the hell you're doing just sitting there. Society doesn't seem to appreciate the value of silence and peace anymore. It's always rush here, rush there, make sure you're doing something at all times.

I so wish I had a car right now. I'd find some kind of state park-ish sort of place (and in this area, I'm sure I wouldn't have to go very far to find one), and then I could definitely get some peace and quiet. Ahh...

Kristen's here now, and even though we're not talking I feel like...bleh. I dunno, I just wish I had a room to myself right now, lol! Actually, I wish it was time for summer vacation. I'm going to take at least a week off after the semester ends. And I'll relax outside...after putting on sunscreen, of course. ;) Hehe...