Today's rambling: Shoppin'
Written on Monday, Mar. 10, 2003 at 7:43 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I have to go back to uni tomorrow! I always hate coming home because then by the time I have to leave, I never want to go. :P But I got some necessary shopping done, and then I bought some completely useless items. Because those are the most fun.

I got myself a pair of track pants/wind pants/swishy pants (take your pick as to what to call them), but I had to get them from the men's section because the women's didn't fit. Heck, I had to go to a 2XL for the GUYS' pants, too. I'm not even that big. Oh, I feel like a frickin' WHALE after today, but if you were to see me on the street you wouldn't be like, "Dang, that's a big wench!" All my weight just seems to have collected below the waist and above the knee. Seriously. I am so disproportionate that if it wouldn't hurt, I'd just take a huge saw and trim off all this excess baggage. Right now, I am feeling very hateful toward my body. Very.

So after that experience, I cheered myself up by buying a stuffed animal of Geoffrey the Giraffe at Toys R Us. I'd actually been looking for Care Bears, but they only had a few of those left. So I gave in to the obsessiveness and bought Geoffrey. You don't have to tell me I'm sad; I already know I am. I bought 4 little beanie Care Bears at the mall, so I was feeling all better after the clothing experience. But then we went to Fashion Bug so that I could find some jeans.

I usually go to that store for my pants. They tend to actually have jeans that fit, but not today. Today, neither of the two pairs I managed to find fit me. I was almost in tears and told Mom that I was just going to become anorexic. And if I had a bit more willpower, I probably WOULD end up turning in that direction. I know it's stupid, and I know I'd never ever end up doing that, but I'm just so SICK of being fat! I have no problems with everything above my waist. Sure, my arms could definitely use some toning but it's not bad enough that I think about it. I love buying cute shirts that show off everything. But I can't, because wearing tight shirts means that my fat stomach and thighs aren't being covered up by shirt hems.

Anyway, sorry for the negativity, Diary. I just fed up with myself sometimes. Hopefully, going to the Rec Center as often as I plan to go will trim off this unwanted fat. I don't need to be skinny. I just need to be able to go out and find jeans that fit well.

I had a salad at dinner tonight, which ended up being SOO good. I'm usually not a salad person so I don't eat them very often, but tonight I was really in the mood for one. I need to force myself to get one from the salad bar at dinner once I get back to college. Not that there's any nutritional value in the type of salad that I eat (which is just lettuce, lol), but as long as I feel full afterward then that's all I care about. Not that that's all I'd eat, but you get the idea. :P

Before dinner started, as I was putting honey in my tea (or 'hunny', as I almost typed), the phone rang. Looking at the Caller ID, Mom remarked that it was a private number. "Oo," I said, "maybe it's my lover." Of course, I didn't actually expect it to be him. I figured it was probably Adrienne, coming out of her cocaine hibernation to say hello. However, as soon as Mom started talking I knew that it was Geoff. We'd just been talking about him, too, which was kinda weird. Mom had been talking to Lynn, and Geoff had told her at work today that he'd really had fun at the Moody Blues concert. So I feel a little better about all that now, hehe...Anyway, an excerpt from my conversation with Geoffray:

Me: "I bought Geoffrey the Giraffe today." ... "He's just going to lay on my bed."
Geoff: "Me too."
Me: "You're going to lay on my bed?"
Geoff: "All 3 of us." (meaning him, me, and the giraffe, lol)
Me: "Ooo, okay. I can do that."

Hee hee...that was fun. ^_^

The 'purpose' for his call, however, was to tell me that Times Square (the day we'd been there) was on the news. He's always remarking that everytime he and Tim (and now me) go somewhere, that place always ends up on the local news afterward. Apparently, there'd been some kind of shooting or whatever at this place that was right near the Sanrio store. :P Actually, when we'd been up there I remember a group of police yelling "Stop!" and running down this one street...but then they stopped in the middle of the street and walked back, so I wasn't sure what had been going on. I guess now I know. It was kinda funny for him to call just for that reason, though, hehe! We didn't talk for more than 5 minutes, but Mom was like, "He was just calling to talk to you." Hehe...It's a nice thought! He called me Wednesday and Thursday nights, too...and one other night before that, when I worked night crew with Mom. It's kinda starting to spoil me; I'm going to get cranky back at college when he's not calling me anymore! *giggles*

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'll have to go to bed somewhat early tonight since Lauren and her mom will be picking me up at 7 tomorrow morning. X_X The dorms don't even open 'til one o'clock, but unfortunately Lauren's father is having surgery tomorrow (they didn't find out about this 'til yesterday, apparently) so her mom has to drop us off and then go right back home. At least there's a reason for the early pick-up time, but it still kinda irks me. I wish it wasn't such a long drive so that Mom could take me! I don't really like the way that Lauren's mother drives. Actually, better than having either of those two drive, I wish that I had my license (and a lovely VW bus) so that I could drive myself!!!