Today's rambling: Place subject here.
Written on Thursday, Feb. 06, 2003 at 5:21 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Oh wow! It's snowing again! Wait a minute while I register shock! Oh yeah, that's right: my shock meter BROKE. :P

It's a sad, sad day that finds Berry not looking forward to snow. I still enjoy watching it, but in the back of my head there's always this reminder that within a short amount of time I'm going to have to WALK in it as well. And walking while snow is falling (and the wind is blowing that snow in your face) is just unpleasant. Besides that, I'm desperately needing some sunlight. This is just getting sad. Ha ha! Sad, get it? SAD = Seasonal Affective Disorder. Okay, shut up, so it wasn't that funny...

I just finished renewing my Diaryland gold membership a few minutes. Yay! Now I'll get another full year of diarying goodness. I probably shouldn't have spent the money on it, but it's not as if I don't use this thing. Close to two years of diarying here is nothing to sneeze at!

I think part of my icky mood today is the fact that I'm feeling guilty. I was so tired last night, yet I just had to stay up to watch "The Bachelorette" with Kristen. By the time that was over, it was 10 o'clock and I still had to take a shower...so I just didn't bother setting my alarm for 4:30 this morning. I'd wanted to tell Tyrone yesterday before I left that I wasn't going to be in this morning, but then he didn't get there until after I left...and by the time I did talk to him, I was kinda feeling my 'second wind', hehe :P Thus, I still didn't remember to say anything. So then I figured, "Okay, I'll just call him when I wake up to get ready for class, and apologize profusely and all that." Well, guess what happened? My alarm rang at 8 o'clock and I was still so exhausted that I was like, "Heck with it. I've got Kevin, Lauren, and Amanda in the same class as me. I'll just ask one of them for the notes." And so I went back to sleep.

Then when I finally woke up at about 11:20, I discovered that I'd started my period (actually, the cramps were what indicated it). That's the major reason for why I was feeling so fatigued. Friggin' menstruation...what's up with reproduction-y stuff having to be so annoying and painful? I mean, sorry, but if I'm going to have to incubate something for 9 months, spit it out of a ridiculously-small opening, and then RAISE the thing for at least 18 years, I would appreciate it if I could get some relief somewhere. But no, everything from periods to incubation to birth has to be one big pain in the ass. I have to give props to those women who can actually handle it, 'cause goodness knows I don't have the tolerance for it. Then again, it takes a rather strong person to realize she isn't mother-material, too. I mean, what...it takes like a few minutes' of effort to get the kid. Does that make you a mother? Biologically, yes. But there's so much MORE to it than just that, and a lot of people--young girls especially--don't seem to understand that. So to those of you who know you wouldn't make good parents...well, props to you too. It's not a wretched thing to not want to have kids. I don't know why people try to make it out to be a sin. Better to not have kids than to have them and abuse them or be unable to take care of them!

Yeesh. All that brought on by my "I got my period" announcement. See, I TOLD you periods were evil things! :P

In French today, we got our essays back. I made a couple of little mistakes (it should have been "ennuyeuSE" instead of "ennuyeuX", and I spelled 'laughed' wrong), but she still gave me an A+ and wrote "Beaucoup d'imagination!" at the bottom, hehe...And as she handed it to me she exclaimed something about how I'd written a "petite histoire". *giggles* Oh well, I'd been honestly frightened that she would be annoyed with me for having strayed so far from what she'd probably intended! Or, I'd feared, she would think I was trying to show off. I like to try to challenge myself, though, which was why I didn't want to write like a 5-year old. Miranda got a B on hers, and that put her in a bad mood for the rest of class. She thinks she does so badly in this class, that she doesn't understand anything and whatnot...but she really DOES do well! Sure, she doesn't understand some of the things, but there's a huge difference between that B she got and a D or an E. The odd part is, though, I think I know exactly how she feels. I'm glad she didn't drop the class like she keeps saying she wanted to, though. I couldn't deal with John alone! ;)

We reviewed for the rest of class, since we have an exam coming up tomorrow. I'm not sure how well I'm going to do on it. I need to do some serious reviewing of my vocabulary tonight, and the verbs as well. At the end of class I had to go up to the board with Miranda and this other girl (she was pulling us up 3 at a time), and I ended up getting the past participle for '�crire' wrong. I don't mean this to sound conceited, but it was the first time I'd gotten something wrong while up at the board. And while I don't beat myself up usually for making mistakes, I feel a LOT of pressure when up at the board. Well, I don't think there are many people who don't feel pressured, really. It's just that those girls are so snobby and catty, and I know they have this impression that I'm some sort of snobby know-it-all which makes them dislike me, so when I made that stupid little mistake and then saw one or two girls turn to each other and giggle softly...No, I DON'T know that they were laughing at me, and they probably weren't. But it was just kinda icky for me. Still, despite the fact that I got chastised by the professor (indirectly: all she said was "A lot of people are doing this, and you need to stop it. This doesn't even make sense!"), I only blushed a little bit. I guess you need those small embarrassments sometimes to make you remember things, though.

Gah, I've also got to study for Humanities tomorrow! X_X

Yesterday while I was getting my things together for French, I heard the little IM brriing sound. I have it set so an "Accept Message?" dialogue box pops up if someone not on my list sends me an IM, and that's what had appeared. Even though I'd never seen that screen name before, I immediately knew who it was: Geoff. :P We only talked for 3 minutes or so, because his friend had come over with lunch or something like that. But (after I asked) he told me that he has long distance again, and when I teased him for "ditching" me, he said something like "Talk to you tomorrow?" So I'm hoping that means "I'll call you tomorrow." *giggles* I'd rather talk to him on the phone than online, even though long distance is obscenely expensive if you want to have a decent conversation. I'm also hoping he got that CD today, hee hee! Otherwise, if I talk to him I'll end up saying everything that's in the letter I sent along. Kinda boring to read a letter containing stuff you already know!

Kristen and I have this running joke that we beat each other. So today when I came back from French, I noticed that she had written "My roommate abuses me! Help me!" on her board. She'd written it awhile ago, but that was the first time I saw it. Anyway, I erased all but the 'help me!' part and, trying to copy her handwriting, wrote "I abuse my roommate!" Then I erased the 'me' in "Help me!!!" and inserted 'her'. Thus, now the message reads "I abuse my roommate! Help her!" Tee hee hee...I wonder how long it'll take her to notice THAT one...

Oo, Lauren just called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner at 5:30. Considering I haven't eaten all day? I'm not objecting to going half an hour earlier than usual. ;) Walking through the snow doesn't appeal to me, but Berry must eat.

Last night, Amanda asked me if I'd ever tried the climbing wall down in the Rec Center. When I said I'd never even been IN the Rec Center, she informed me that we're going this weekend. Umm...I know this is a good thing, going to exercise and whatnot, but I'm not so sure I want to go with someone who's already athletic! :P I informed her that I was NOT going on the climbing wall, but she was like "There are lots of other things to do!" So who knows, maybe I'll be like Marn and use the elliptical machine. Ha ha! :P Actually--and this is going to sound stupid--I'm afraid those windpants that I bought for the purpose of going to the Rec Center will be too small. Considering that somehow, even my jeans no longer fit me (and those windpants were a little tight even before my jeans didn't fit), I don't hold out much help.

Oo, mah tummeh's growling now, so I guess I'll get my key and card together so that I can tromp through the snow...