Today's rambling: I pine for you, Trevor!
Written on Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003 at 9:04 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I definitely should not have just gone without calling Geoff back last night after we got disconnected. Today I've been left with that feeling like I've left something unfinished. I can't even explain it, really. I feel like that if I don't say bye to him before I leave work, too (or if he leaves without saying bye). And I feel like smacking myself for being like this! My mind keeps screaming at me, "Would you just get over it already??"

On the one hand, as I was saying to Janette, at least he's real. It's not like all my little middle school fantasies where I was daydreaming about celebrities or even that cute guy in my homeroom. This is someone I actually have a serious chance with. But then on the other hand, this fact is even MORE frustrating than if I was just fantasizing over someone unattainable! At least with the daydreams about celebrities, in the back of my head I know it's not real...and that it could never in a million years happen. But when I find myself daydreaming about Geoff, I get this little wistful pang. It's like, sure--these things could happen, but at the same time they're not and I'm afraid they never will. And on days like these, where I'm feeling depressed-yet-dreamy, all that just seems overwhelming.

I'll be over it by the time Monday comes and I have other things to occupy my time. But this weekend, I have a feeling I'm not going to be in a mood to do much of anything. *smacks herself* Sometimes you can be really dumb, Berry.

Today (or tonight, rather), I actually wanted to do something, though. But not something sedentary. What I really got the urge to do was play volleyball. But wouldn't ya know it: the recreation center is CLOSED on weekends! What the flip is the purpose in that?? All this free time, and yet we can't go DO something with it? Ironically, the only thing we have to do around here is go to a bar. And yet the campus officials keep trying to tell us that we don't need alcohol to have fun.

WHEN YOU LIVE IN CLARION, YOU DO!!!!

Kristen is sitting on her repaired bean bag, waiting for me to finish so we can watch the Care Bears movie. *giggles* And I'm downloading Rainbow Brite songs. Ah, childhood...

Okay, I'm going to go away now.