Today's rambling: Mellow day
Written on Monday, Oct. 28, 2002 at 8:03 p.m.
while feeling a bit

It's amusing, really.

Everyone I know (save Lauren and Amanda) who sees me talking with Kevin is always like, "Oooo, who was that boy you were talking to??" the next time they see me. I guess now that we're in college, every boy-girl pairing has the potential to be something serious in others' eyes. Amber just got through telling me that she thinks Kevin and I would look cute together! X_X Amusing, yes, but please don't give anyone ideas! Kevin's a dear friend, but the thought of us pairing up romantically? Ugh.

He ate lunch and dinner with Lauren and I today, so I'm hoping that things are somewhat back to normal. It was nice being able to joke around with both of them! :)

We got our essays back in Writing today, and the professor said that if we got a C on it, we actually did well. *dies* I'm not even lying to you when I say that I almost burst into tears right there. I knew I was going to do badly, and I was so upset that I was trembling and pressing my lips together to keep from crying. I grabbed my folder and left along with everyone else, deciding that if I got a bad grade, I'd just run off into a corner and cry by myself. My fears weren't soothed at all when I saw all the writing she'd done on my paper, either. She put the score all the way on the back page so that we couldn't just flip to the end and find it, without looking over the notes. Anyway, I saw that I'd gotten a C+ and I practically sagged against the wall with relief.

Josh, who'd been standing nearby, asked me what I got. He'd failed the reading report, so a part of me expected that he'd do poorly on this as well. But he'd gotten a B-! He was literally bouncing up and down, he was so excited, and I have to say that I was quite happy for him, too. "Wow, that is SO great!" I told him, and he was like, "Give me a hug!" Hehe...He's a very affectionate-needy boy, and usually that kind of puts me off, but today I was just like, "Aww", and so I gave him a hug and congratulated him a lot more. He needed that, I think. Lauren didn't really say much, and Kevin said 'good job', but you could tell that Josh was REALLY proud of himself and I didn't want him to feel like no one cared.

Hehe...Ever since he found out that I brought up my Nintendo 64 with me, he's been wanting to play some Mario games. Today I could tell that he really really wanted to play, and so I was like, "C'mon, let's go," and I let him play Paper Mario while I embroidered. :P Lauren came over, and then Kevin came over too (Amanda was studying)...it was fun. Kevin laughed at me because I looked like some Colonial woman bent over her embroidery. :P I'm probably the only one on campus (around my age) who DOES embroidery, LoL! Oh well. Anyway, I was really nice to Josh today, and not only was it not an effort, it actually made ME feel really good! I don't like to be the ugly, cynical person that I've become. It makes me feel better about myself when I treat others better. Unless they're like Crazy Jen the Ho. Then I don't care, because she treated me horribly even before she got to know me and so I don't consider her to be worth my respect. Ah well.

Mom got my letter today. And she said it made her cry! I had a feeling it might, because I'd been talking about Dad in it, but I didn't write it with the intention of making her cry! I apologized, hehe, and then she was like, "No, it was a good cry." Then she went on about how I really ought to start talking to him again, but I'm just not ready to forgive him for what he's done. And I know that I shouldn't be like that, 'cause who knows when something might happen and I'd never get another chance...I just can't do it.

I'm getting caught up in conversations with Frank, Amber, and Tiff's brother...Quite odd to be so social. ;) I'm going to call Geoff back after 8:30 or so, since Mom said he came in late today. Mom was like, "At least call and talk to Tim, since it was nice for him to call you!" She insists that Geoff put him up to calling me. How old are we, exactly?? ;)

Alright, there's entirely too much chatter going on, so I'll have to cut this short. I hate how the first paragraph is all nice and regular-sized, and then all the subsequent paragraphs are really little. Anyone know why that is? I'm still not all that well-versed in CSS stuff. Any help would be appreciated! :)