Today's rambling: Various thoughts
Written on Wednesday, Sept. 11, 2002 at 10:52 a.m.
while feeling a bit

I thought the media had desensitized me to the events of September 11th. I hadn't really planned to watch any of the memorials on television today. But then yesterday, in my Message Design class, the professor put in a DVD of an HBO documentary. Not even 5 minutes into the thing, and I was crying as I had the day everything first happened. I remembered everything that had run through my mind, the sense of horror and breathless pain that overwhelmed me with an intensity I'd never felt before.

There were photographs of people who had jumped from the towers, and while I recoiled, thinking these photos to be absolutely tasteless, at the same time it just made the pain grow stronger. I began trembling with the effort of not sobbing aloud, and it felt as though my lungs were being constricted with iron bands.

The media had only desensitized me to its own melodramatic soliloquys, not to the event itself.

At the end of class, the professor walked very quietly to the front of the room, perched on the edge of his desk, and slowly looked at us. "If the media has desensitized you to these images," he began, still quiet and very solemn, "then shame on them." A pause. "If you're no longer affected by these images, then shame on you."

I'd been dry-eyed at that point, but as soon as he said those words, I just started crying again. I walked out of class feeling quite depressed, and as soon as I got back to my room I called Mom at work. It wasn't so much that I wanted comforting or anything, I just needed to talk to her. Of course, true to form I started crying the moment I began talking to her, but I quickly had to stop myself because she put Geoff on the phone.

At any rate, he told me he'd call me later that night, and of course that cheered me up a bit. He would have to pick a day when I've got stuff to do at night though, hehehe...

My Earth Science class (which is as boring as dirt, by the way) was at 7 o'clock, and I was hoping that he'd let us go before 8 (which he usually does) because there was an interesting presentation at 8 o'clock. Some kind of 80's rock thing, where a guy went over the different kinds of music of that era. Well, wouldn't you know it? The teacher decided to keep blathering about nothing until five minutes after 8. I was sitting there tapping my fingers impatiently by the end, wondering whether I should even bother going to the presentation anymore. I went, though, figuring that if nothing else, at least it would give me something to talk about should Geoff call.

Left at 9 and went back to my room, blah blah blah...When he finally called, we ended up talking for over an hour...maybe close to two hours. He told me he's going to be taking his vacation at the end of September, and I was like, "Oo, then you can come out here and visit me!" He said something about taking me down to Pittsburgh, but he said it in a way that makes me think he'll actually do it, so that cheers me considerably.

Anyway, I have a Writing assignment due at 3 o'clock today (let's have a cheer for procrastination!), so I'd better start on that.

By the by...the new version of AIM has that little "So-and-So is typing" feature now! I think it was Laura who said she wished AIM had that feature, like MSN Messenger does. And now they do! :oP