Today's rambling: Eyes, rants, and more
Written on Sunday, Jun. 23, 2002 at 7:10 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I have a thing for eyes.

Tons of people (usually guys who are trying to score) like to say that the first feature they notice are a person's eyes (probably followed, in the guys' cases, by a coughed 'boobs'), but I wonder if any of them really do take notice of this particular feature.

I love looking at another person's eyes, at the contrast of lashes and irises, of irises and complexion...It's all very pretty. For example, I think tanned skin, dark hair, and blue or gray eyes is a gorgeous combination. I'm not really much on brown eyes, unless they're dark. Of course, the one exception to this would be Geoff, who has warm amber eyes but startlingly pale lashes.

Jason's eyes, when he laughs or grins, scrunch up almost to the point of being closed, which is cute. And Frank's eyes are a dark brown, but framed by these gorgeous, long black lashes.

Nick's eyes, I think, are hazel...but today they held the changing colors of an ocean: bluey-greeny-brown, and really pretty. I almost told him so, but then he teased me about something else, so I decided not to compliment him. And besides, he probably would've gotten ideas that I was coming on to him or something.

Anyway, I just felt like talking about that.

Someone else knocked me off their favorite diaries list! *chuckles* I don't even know why I check that thing, but I just can't help it! And I felt this absurd little pang of disappointment that someone didn't find me entertaining enough to stick around! But y'know what? It doesn't really matter. Because primarily, I'm in this thing for me. I'm not as witty as Marn or Cosmic Amanda, but that's just not how I am! Every so often I can manage to come up with an entry that seems (to me, at least) to be entertaining, but I didn't start this darned thing to be funny and entertaining; I started it to let my feelings out.

Not that I really do a whole lot of that here. Most of the things I write are all just stories of my day, but even my paper diary is mostly like that. If I feel really strong emotions that I can't just keep pent up and yet can't share with anyone, then I'll write it in my diary. But for the most part, I only started keeping a diary because I liked having a written account of my past, of the days that were so awesome I felt like I was flying, and those bad days where nothing seemed to go right. Half of them, when I look back on them, make me cringe with embarrassment, and I sometimes feel like ripping the offending pages out and burning them. In a way, that knowledge of going back later and being embarrassed has inhibited me from even writing my feelings in my paper diary.

*shrugs* At any rate, now that I've forgotten where I was going with this... ;) Oh yeah, 'this was my day' type entries. Some people seem to think these entries are wrong, that diaries are solely for writing down feelings and emotions. I'd like to ask where this Universal Diary-Writing Rulebook is, so that I might read through it. A diary isn't like writing a book, it's just something personal for you! If you want to be all about emotions and poetic thoughts, then that's perfectly okay. On the other hand, if you're like me and you like writing down all the events of the day, that's okay too.

The story approach is actually kind of neat in the realm of online diaries. Jam pointed out to me the other day that such entries give her a glimpse into my life, how my days go, that sort of thing. It's almost like getting to know a person without ever meeting them. The reader gets to sort of know the diarist's circle of friends, family...all sorts of things. Emotion-type entries give a reader insight into the diarist's feelings and personality, but since the two (reader and diarist) will probably never meet, the storytelling and emotion entries sort of need to complement each other, you know?

I'll shut up about that now. ^_^

Instead, I'll talk about the other lovely surprise I got in the mail yesterday: birthday pressies from Jam!! Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to open them 'til my birthday. *sulks* Still, it made me all warm and fuzzy knowing that she'd thought of me! Then it made me guilty, because as Mom put it, "We still need to buy her a Christmas present!" ("And a birthday present!" I added.) I know she's not sitting over there going, "Geez, Berry, you're a great friend for not sending me any presents! *huff*" ('Cause if she did, she probably wouldn't have gone through the effort of buying me anything this year, LoL), but I still feel bad! America's so commercialized, I feel like everything I could get her, they've already got over in Australia. Maybe I should try crafty stuff again.

The one thing out of her parcel that I did get to look through was the sheet music. Unfortunately, I can't read music to save my bum. *sniffles* Abby (my keyboard) comes with a feature that tells the note letters when you hit the key (in-key, too...it gets harder to understand as you get up to the really high notes), but that didn't help me much. I'm sure the 'key' (ha ha...too many uses for that word in this paragraph) to understanding which particular G and F and whatnot is in figuring out the little symbol-y thing at the beginning of the line (*falls over giggling at her descriptions*)...but I don't even know how those work! :

Lester's last day at work was today. Let's all give a cheer! Actually, he wasn't so bad yesterday. He was standing at the bakery counter cutting out the bakery ad, and I was decorating a cake on the other side of the counter. Feeling weird for not being conversational, I looked up and said, "You work in Virginia, right?" He said yeah, so I asked, "Have you lived there all your life?" Another yeah, so finally I said, "Have you ever been to Luray?" When he said yes this time, I became all excited, as I always do whenever someone says that they've been to this small, virtually unheard-of town. "My mom's relatives all live there!" (Well, they actually live in an even tinier town nearby, but oh well.)

"How'd you get all the way up here?" he asked, laughing. I told him the story, and we talked for a tiny bit longer...But he's all about business, so I guess smalltalk wasn't his thing. Oh well, you can't say I didn't give it a good effort, right?

I only have two more days left to go, and then I'm off for 3 days. Granted, two of those days will be spent at orientation (assuming they get back to me and say that I'm scheduled for the 27-28), but it'll still be nice! I haven't had a day off since this past Wednesday, and I'm really wearing down. I can't imagine what it's like for people (like Geoff) who work for 2+ weeks straight before they get a day off! I'd never be able to go that long! Combined with the fact that PMS is creeping up on me again, I'm not very happy right now!

But then, Sunday the 30th...I'm really excited for this party! Zenon actually went over to Mom and asked if he could come up, which was neat. I knew we were friends at work, but I never really expected him to want to hang out with me at all outside of the store! She gave him directions and everything, but I don't know that he'll actually show up. For one, he's incredibly forgetful, and secondly...I can't imagine his girlfriend (who seems to be the possessive type) would appreciate his going to a birthday party for another female.

Nicole told me today that she was going to come up, too, which is great, because I really like her. And of course Kirsten and Keith will be there, and Geoff had better get the date right this time!!! He thought it was today Sunday (we went through that yesterday...I had to remind him that it was NEXT Sunday). Keith and Kirsten are going to stay the night...I don't know about Geoff. Honestly, if they're going to be drinking, I don't want them to drive home. It's a bit farther for them to get where they're going from my house than it is from the store, and even though I know it doesn't take much of a distance to get into an accident, with this kind of distance, there's more time for such a thing to happen! So the apartment might turn into a mini campground, hehe...

Linda's in Atlantic City until late tomorrow night (she left this morning), so Blackie's been with us since last night. It's weird having a dog around again. :oP I'm used to getting up in the morning and padding around an echoingly silent apartment...but as soon as my door opened this morning, he started barking from Mom's room. She and I were both paranoid today that he would start howling or barking while we were away at work. Such a thing would have proved disastrous if our neighbors heard, because pets aren't allowed in these apartments. But Blackie's a good dog, and we didn't get any notices, so I think he kept quiet today. Let's just hope he keeps quiet tomorrow, too!

Debbie told me this morning that Joanne always talks highly of me. I trust Debbie implicitly--she's my 'Bakery Mom', hehe--so I know she'd tell me if Joanne was actually saying mean things behind my back. Still, this remark took me by surprise. Joanne is the sort of person who'll be nice to you to your face, but complain bitterly about you once you're not around. I know she's done this to me a couple of times, which is why I couldn't believe Debbie was actually telling me the truth. It made me a little more tolerant of Joanne today, though, thinking that she actually genuinely liked me.

But come on. Who wouldn't like me? :oP

All my plans to go to bed around 8 o'clock have failed. I normally wouldn't worry about it, because I've been getting to bed by or around 10. But working so many days in a row, I know I have to go to bed even earlier than usual because otherwise I'll just get worn out and not feel like working the next day. That's what's happening to me now. I just looked at the clock and saw that it's almost 8 (I haven't even had dinner), so I'm thinking I should probably go. But I'll want to read a chapter or two of Dhiammara, of course. And then I'll probably listen to my favorite songs from 'Days of Future Passed' and 'The Greatest Hits of the Moody Blues' (because I'm still in that phase where I can't stop listening to those same songs over and over).

By then, I'll probably be three seconds away from passing out...and it'll probably be close to--if not after--ten o'clock.

Such is life.