Today's rambling: Forgot a few stories!
Written on Sunday, Jun. 16, 2002 at 1:27 a.m.
while feeling a bit

As we were driving along a particular road yesterday, Geoff informed me that coming up on the righthand side was something he used to beg his parents to drive past when he was little. "It's really stupid," he added, apparently fearing that I'd give him an "Okaaaayyyyyy...." sort of look after I saw whatever it was. After we'd turned a curve, he pointed to the structure that had provided so much amusement to him as a child: a 'fake waterfall', as he put it, created by a dam used by...a power company, I think.

"Oh, that's cool!" I exclaimed, grinning. It was definitely something I'd have wanted my parents to drive by when I was little!

Later on during the drive, he was joking about something, and my only response was a laughter-obscured, "Oh, geez!" (and a rueful shake of the head too, I'm sure..) He glanced over at me and, in that "Oh, you know it doesn't bother you," sort of voice, said "You love me."

Or at least, that's what I initially thought he said. He sort of murmured it, and the music was slightly loud, so the more I think about it, the more I think he might've said "You love it" instead. I think that's what he said only because it sounds more logical, hehe, even though I'm prone to say "You know you love me!" a lot. :-P But that's me, not him!

I also found out that he hates REO Speedwagon, hehe...Not that that's anything surprising, since most people do. :P I just like some of their songs, okay?? Even if Geoff's brother does like to call them REO Fagwagon! But anyway, we were listening to a radio station and "Can't Fight This Feeling" (or whatever the title is) came on. He made some kind of derogatory remark and promptly switched the song off. I teased him about it, implied that I liked them (not so that he'd turn the song back on--because then I'd feel bad for making him suffer through it), and he said that he could normally tolerate their songs, but "Can't Fight This Feeling" had to have been the WORST of them all.

But he ended up turning the song back on anyway. "Geoff," I said amusedly, looking over at him, "You don't have to listen to this song." He'd already suffered through one of Billy Joel's songs just because I liked it, so I didn't particularly want to make him listen through ANOTHER song that he didn't like, hehe...I'm like that with people. Thankfully, Geoff and I tend to like most of the same music. He'd put on The Moody Blues' "Days Of Future Passed" just for me, wheee! ;)

Oh, be quiet. (Uh oh, a Marn-ism!) This is my diary, after all, and I'll go on about mushy stuff as long as I want! *giggles*

I think that's the end of my forgotten stories, though. Except for when we were driving through the countryside, and as we passed some cows he shouted "MOO, DAMMIT!" out the window. That was amusing. He tried to get me to shout "HEY!" but I can't do that sort of stuff when people are expecting me to. I did, however, moo at some cows before he told me to say 'hey'...I'm just spontaneous that way. :P

Today was spent in a really bad mood. I think it stemmed from the Frank dilemma I spoke of last night. He tried to text message me on my cell phone today, and at one point he remarked, "Someone's snappy!" I told him I was in a bad mood, but didn't say why...so his response? "U need to get laid!" And then he said something about the fact that he could help if I'd let him...

"We need to find you a girlfriend so you can let out all this sexual tension!" I replied (whereas before, I might've been like, "Oo.." or something). After that, he told me good night and that he'd talk to me when I was in a better mood.

I'm making a conscious effort to stop flirting with him. Reflecting upon it, I'm really disgusted at my behavior. It's not as though I've done anything more physical than hugging him (which friends do anyway, and I like to hug people, hehe)...but it just seems so Erin-ish, and I've always hated how she leads guys on! But it's not that I've been doing it just so that I could lead him on, I was honestly confused there for awhile as to how I felt about him! I don't know that yesterday's outing with Geoff cleared anything up for the long run, but certainly for the time being it has. I didn't feel all tense and miserable in the car as I have the couple of times I drove with Frank (tense because he's a guy and I felt awkward, and miserable because his choice of 'music' sucks); I actually found things to talk about instead of just making awkward silences...I don't know, it was just more fun! My feelings for Frank were on a purely physical level. Sometimes, I wonder how we can be friends at all, and then I realize that outside of work, I don't think our friendship would last very long at all, let alone a romantic involvement!

If I keep acting aloof like this, I know eventually he's going to ask me what's going on and I'm going to have to tell him. Actually, I ought to just tell him now that I'm not flirting with him anymore because I hate the fact that I've been more or less leading him on...But he still insists that he just thinks of me as a friend, so a comment like that would probably just make him indignant and unreasonable.

Bah. I don't need these problems!!!

I'm going to go now, because my wrist is bothering me, and I'm tired. I distinctly remember seeing on my schedule that I'm off tomorrow (well, technically today), but Mom's working tomorrow...and I know John has me scheduled every other day except for Wednesday, so now I'm worried that maybe I was wrong, and I actually AM supposed to work today! I could just wake up at 6, like usual, and call the store to see, but it's after 2 am now and I don't relish the idea of having so little sleep. They'll forgive me this once if I mistakenly don't go in. And it is an honest mistake, because I swear I thought it said "Off" under the Sunday column! And I've been telling people for days that I'm off, so I'm sure I can't be mistaken....*hopes very, very hard*