Today's rambling: Enter something here.
Written on Wednesday, Apr. 03, 2002 at 5:13 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Nothing EVER goes simply when I go to the DMV building. Whether it's trying to renew a permit or take the driving test, it seems I am ALWAYS given some kind of hassle. The first time I tried to take the driving test, Dad took me over...and he forgot an up-to-date insurance card. So they sent us away. I didn't go BACK for another driver's test probably for close to a year, if not more than that.

Today, I traveled over to this building to get my permit renewed. Folks, I have continued to get this thing renewed for SO long that today the guy told me (in front of a whole line of people) that I had to take the test all over again. And get another physical beforehand. My last physical was in 1998. Apparently, I might've contracted some terrible disease in that time, and thus I have to be checked all over again.

I'm willing to say "screw it" and go bicycling for the rest of my life. Do I NEED this grief? No. All for the ability to get behind the wheel of some monster that could kill me with no effort at all, to ride down a road with morons driving the SAME monsters, nattering on cell phones and not paying any attention to what they're doing...Yeah, I would so LOVE to be able to have a little plastic card permitting me to do this! YEEEEEE HAWWWWWW!!!!!!

The news announced that yes, Americans ARE rude. Um..I could have told you this without you needing to do some fancy surveying. Maybe that's why so many people from other countries migrate here: so that they can be rude, too. Yes, America, Home of the Rude.

I'm sorry. I like this country, generally speaking. But we ARE a rude people. Our manners are severely lacking, and I might only be 20 but I've seen this trend going on for many many years. Whether it's being clipped repeatedly on the heels by some guy pushing a stroller around, or being the victim of some unprovoked rant from a customer, I've seen how rude we're becoming. But it's not like a simple survey is going to stop this from happening. The rude people don't CARE that they're being rude, while those of us who actually TRY to be polite are helpless to do anything.

Not that I've never been rude, hehe...I just feel I'm more conscious of my actions than most people. I won't pull my cell phone out in the middle of checking out of a grocery store, thereby ignoring the cashier as he/she tries to ask me questions. Unless it was an emergency and the green beans were attacking somebody, I'd wait 'til I was safely OUT of the building. In general, I just try to be considerate of other people. Unless they piss me off. Then I make a show of being pissed at them, heh. :oP

Anyway.

Got curtains for the window in my room (the window that I never open, ha ha), and I was going to buy a new scanner at Wal-Mart but since the only one they had was on sale, they were out of stock! Yeesh. Now, if I hadn't wanted/been able to afford one, there would have been STACKS of boxes there. Oh well. Got home, and there were two ducks taking shelter from the rain underneath our porch swing. A male and female, he with those gorgeous iridescent green feathers covering his head and neck; and she with her dull brown colors. They'd visited me earlier in the morning as I was getting ready to go out (before it had begun to rain), and so I walked out and tossed them some bread. They're used to coming onto our porch (I've seen them once or twice before waddling across it), and while they retreated off of it when I came out, they still came much closer than Oscar and Isabelle (the two geese) usually do. I'll have to think of names for these two as well. I love having all these animals around. ^_^ Makes up for the zoo I had to give away!

A fuzzy gray squirrel came scampering across the lawn before I went outside with the bread, and I'd found myself hoping that he was one of those tamed squirrels you could feed from your hand. When I lived with my grandparents for a year (this was back when I was 4), there was a squirrel like that, and we used to feed peanuts and malted milk balls to it. But as soon as I opened the door today, the squirrel ran off. He'd gotten quite near to the porch, though, so maybe one of these days I'll make a squirrel feeder, hehehe...

Frank called me last night and told me that if I ever need a place to spend the night, I could go to his house. He'd let me sleep in his room, and he said he'd sleep on the couch...adding "at first", hehe.. :oP Nice gesture, but how awkward would THAT be! I'd sooner be the one sleeping on the couch! I don't things'll get that bad around here, though. Mom and I talked a little bit today, so hopefully things will be better within the next day or so. I don't know. This might end, but the overall problem won't get better until I'm actually able to talk about it.

She always tells me that it's unhealthy the way I bottle my feelings up, but apparently I'm not allowed to voice my anger unless it has nothing to do with her. Because the moment I say anything negative about Charlie, her hackles rise and she refuses to listen to anything more. Granted, it's hard for me to put my anger into calm words, because I have no practice with voicing such emotions, but why can't she understand that this isn't an easy situation for me? As far as Easter went, it'd be one thing for her to invite that man over for dinner on any normal night, but inviting him over for Easter almost insinuated that he's a part of the family, which he most certainly is NOT.

Speaking of that whole situation...yesterday at work, Leroy saw me right as I was coming in and quipped, "You two didn't kill each other?" Thankfully, he didn't make a big thing of it. I don't think Geoff would've mentioned it at all.

I saw him for the first time yesterday when I was about to go on break. Cheryl mans the cash register in the food court during the morning, so I'd bought a bagel and some apple juice (I'd wanted orange, but they didn't have any) and went over to her register. While I was waiting for her to finish talking to somebody on the store phone, I turned and saw Geoff walking toward me with the Ben & Jerry's vendor (who, by the way, is cute...how lovely, a cute vendor selling my favorite ice cream...). He looked over at me (Geoff, that is) and waved, then said bye to the vendor and walked over to the coffee bar. Asked me how I was doing, and I said, "I'm alive!" He remarked that he was going to ask about that, so maybe he would've mentioned it after all.

At any rate, we went on break and I didn't even have to feel awkward being back there with him because at least this time, it looked more like HE was following ME than the other way around. ;) And actually, a person in the break room said something that made Geoff reply, "I saw her going on break, so I decided to go too." I think he'd been planning on going for a break before he saw me, but I'm willing to accept that he'd decided to follow me, hehe...

I want more music. I just downloaded "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" because I'm tired of listening to pop and alternative all the time and I want something different. I'm not even in the mood for Oldies or classic rock today, which is odd. So I'm just searching around for various songs that I like, but aren't in a genre that I usually listen to. This is the mood I was in when I bought Charlotte Church's CD, but I love that CD. Don't listen to ALL the songs on it, but it's a nice change from the stuff I normally listen to. I still won't listen to country, rap, or "Limp Bizkit" type "music", heh. :oP

Oo, someone's got ABBA, LoL! I forgot about them...They still fit into the music genres that I listen to, but I don't listen to them often enough to be tired of them. So maybe I'll download that. And Fur Elise is there, too, which reminds me that that song and The Entertainer would be fun to listen to...I just bought a CD with bagpipe songs on it today. This is proof that I need something different. Not that I dislike the sound of a bagpipe, but it's not something I would normally even think of buying. It just makes me think of Scottish highlands when I listen to it. ^_^

Wheee, this has made me think of ALL SORTS of songs I want to listen to! Most of them are still probably in the pop category, but it's 80's music, hee hee!

Alright, I'm going to go now. I feel somewhat out of that depressed state I was in the other day, but it's going to be a little bit yet before I'm completely out of it. Still, at least I'm feeling better than I was before!