Today's rambling: I've found you out!
Written on March 12, 2002 at 11:49 p.m.
while feeling a bit

*falls over laughing at Marn's banner* "A woman, a parrot and their forbidden love. Well, maybe not EXACTLY that." That's the first time I saw that banner, hehe...

So anyway, I was looking around for foresty pictures because I wanted to try and make a layout for someone's diary (I don't actually know them and they didn't ask for one...I just figured I'd try to foist it upon them, ha ha), but in the end I couldn't find anything and so I started fiddling around with some stuff for MY diary. And now I have two future layouts. ^_^

One of them can't be used for quite awhile, but the other one could be put up right now if I wanted...and even though I really like this purple layout, I'm anxious to put up the new one! It's exactly the same as this one, really, except that the colors and picture are different, but it's still purty. At least, I think so...and I know, that's not saying much. ;) I think I'll wait 'til the 20th to put it up, however. That way, this layout will have been up for ALMOST a month!

I was supposed to call the guidance office at my old high school today, but I didn't. I have to call tomorrow, though! Mom wants me to get an appointment for Friday morning so that we can get this financial aid stuff underway, but I - HATE - TELEPHONES. I hate them. It's bad enough calling friends, but at least then I have an idea of who'll answer. But calling the school? And it's not as if the guidance office has its own number...nooo, I have to call the main office first, then ask them to transfer me. So I'm going to wonder who'll answer the first time, THEN sit there while the line's being transferred and wonder who will pick up then and what exactly I'll say!

"Hi, my name's Amber, I graduated a long long time ago but I never took my SATs or applied to college, but now I'm about to do both and I need the help of my old guidance counselor, so do you think you could set up an appointment for me sometime early Friday morning?" *gasp, wheeze*

I know, it sounds like the stupidest thing, being afraid of telephones. I'm not even sure when this all started, but I wish it hadn't! I would rather be able to walk in the building and talk to the receptionist face-to-face, I guess because then I can see their expression. In some way, I'm scared that when I'm talking on the phone, the other person is not really paying attention or mocking me silently...it's silly.

But I've got to call anyway. I tried to fill out the FAFSA form on my own, but you need all this information and it's all so confusing that I can't figure it out! Ah, if only I had Bill Gates for a father. Hehe...No, that's alright, I'd rather not be the offspring of that man.

Oo, a new work-related discovery! Joanne has been the one starting all the trouble! I knew she couldn't be trusted, as I've said in one or two other diary entries, but it turns out that she's been the one complaining to John that I work too slowly and I stand around and talk too much! Wow, what a BIZNATCH! :oP And yet she was always coming up to me saying things like, "I want you to work with me!" and "You need more training over here!" and blah blah blah.

Joanne's your friend until you turn around. *turns* How many knives are sticking out of my back? Go ahead, you can tell me. I can take it.

Grr. People like her make me sick. I mean, what BENEFIT is she getting out of tattling on me like some 6-year old? "John! John! Amber's not working fast enough!!! It's not fair!!! *sniffle, whine*" I'll get her. You just wait. And I know I keep saying that, but this time I think I can! She'll try to be all nice and ask about my life, and I'll give her this raised-eyebrows "You DARE to speak to me?" look and let her have it.

Aww, I need comfort food...

You can take the McDonalds Product Test by Matio64 here!

Yum. *giggles*

Take the awesomemonkeys test!

Aww, poor Alex. That show kicked bum...in its own, loser-ish sort of way. I used to have a crush on Alex when I was little. *silly grin*

HEY! I got my PIN from the Department of Education! Woot! Now I could fill out the FAFSA form online if I knew ANY of the stuff they ask! *falls over*

I feel like I should be doing something constructive. I'm still deciding between two essay choices for my college app, and I started writing both of them but neither sound very good. I just can't seem to get out my emotions about each of them. I mean, if you were to ask me about either of these two subjects then I think I could convey my feelings perfectly. But with words, you can't hear the tone of my voice and I can't gesture or anything like I'd do in real life. And I think I'm also scared off by the word 'essay', hehe...Makes everything sound so formal and whatnot!

I don't actually HAVE to write an essay, but I want to do everything possible to help me here. My grades weren't exactly stellar (I had a "little" problem with homework, hehe), and I'm afraid my SAT scores might not be any better. So I want to write this essay so maybe they'll think, "Wow, I guess she's not so bad after all!" And, if possible, I might get my 11th grade English teacher (and graduation project advisor) to write a recommendation. :oP Hopefully she'll have good things to say, hee hee!

Aww, I wish Mr. S. was still at that school. I'd ask him for a recommendation in a heartbeat. Shut up, Tiff. ^_~ I wonder what happened to him...After his Excite email disappeared (or I forgot what it actually was), I haven't been able to get in contact with him! Le sigh.

And my French teacher, the other person I know would give me a good report, is who-knows-where! She moved to Puerto Rico after I graduated, so she's either still there or she's off exploring other cultures and languages. *sniffles* Do they have a "Which Stuffed Animal Are You?" quiz? I'd like to have one right now... ;)

Okay, Lola's on now, so I'm going to shut up. I know, you're all cheering crying. But it'll be okay. I'll be back tomorrow.