Today's rambling: Yeesh.
Written on January 16, 2002 at 7:48 p.m.
while feeling a bit

Since I couldn't tie up the phone line by going online today, I wrote a little bit on Notepad. So I'll just paste that here.

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Well, it's about a quarter after 4 o'clock. The only person who's called thus far was Frank, and that was only to ask me about what breed of dogs I have (because he might be able to take one in). That was probably around 2 or so. Since then, I've cleaned the living room, the stairs, and the couch, and now I'm getting a headache from being tired. I didn't wake up early, really--by the time I crawled out of bed, it was a little after eleven--but considering I didn't get to bed until after 2 o'clock in the morning, it was still kind of early for me. Had I known I'd still be sitting in my house this late in the afternoon, I would have forced myself to keep on sleeping.

The day's not over yet, which is why I haven't completely given up hope. And anyway, I don't feel at all that he should have felt obligated or some such to come up here, just because he said he'd try. I'm not the only one who has to move into another place, after all. I suppose what upsets me the most is the fact that you'd think he'd call or something just to say he couldn't make it.

If you couldn't tell, I have no experience with guys calling me. Hehehe...I always hear stories in magazines about how a guy asked for this girl's number and said he'd call her, but never did...and then of course the advice columnists always say that guys just don't like to talk on the phone like girls do. I seem to be the exception to the "girls love phones" rule, since I would rather NOT have to use one. Still...Maybe I wouldn't be as flustered if it weren't for the fact that I'm getting flashbacks of those two nights months ago where I tried to ask him out. :oP

I wish I had some other sort of good news to relate, but I don't! All of Cadbury's babies are dead. Did they die because she STILL doesn't know what she's doing, or is there some kind of genetic defect, or is it just something that I neglected to do? I'll never find out, since Cadbury and Cassidy are separated...and NOT having a reunion unless/until Cassidy gets fixed. Oh well. I wasn't attached to the little things or anything like that, but it was still rather disappointing.

Mom left for Virginia just after I got up, so I've been alone pretty much all day. It's nice to have alone time, but it also gets very lonely and boring with nothing to do except veg in front of the television (or in front of the computer, as I'm doing now). Tonight, I'll put one of my frozen pizzas in the oven, flip through the channels in hopes of finding something interesting, or possibly dig up a movie to watch. And I'll have to keep reminding myself to let Pierre out every half hour or so to prevent him from relieving himself in the house. Does this sound like fun to any of you? �_�

Blah. Okay, now that I've gotten my feelings out (somewhat), I'm going to find yet something else to do. Maybe I'll aggravate myself with a game of Super Mario 64. That'll occupy me for all of five or ten minutes. Then I have "The Wishsong of Shannara" I could read...and there are CDs I could listen to...I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I actually would rather be at work. This boredom thing sucks.

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I played a few video games, and then literally just as I picked up Wishsong, the phone rang. When I saw Geoff's name appear on the Caller ID, I of course got all nervous and flustered. He didn't know I had Caller ID, however, and so tried disguising his voice to sound like some old lady. Heh. 'Twas interesting. By the way, this was around 5 o'clock.

He asked if it was alright to come over then, but I was feeling awkward (and also still unable to shake the feeling that he was only doing this out of politeness). So I gave a noncommittal, "Sure, if there isn't anything else that you need to get done there or whatever." He told me that he still needed to get a shower, blah blah blah...

Then he told me that he was bringing a friend along. It was his roommate (whose name I still do not know).

Had I been a cartoon, I think I would have done that weird eye-popping, jaw-dropping thing. However, I think I masked my shock...I wasn't about to ask him why he felt the need to bring someone else along.

It was my fault for beginning to think that maybe this could be turned into something of a date, anyway. I was hoping maybe after stopping by the petstore, we'd be able to go have dinner or something. I'd actually almost suggested that over the phone, but then he mentioned bringing along the roommate. Had I actually said anything about dinner, I would have been so embarrassed.

So then I attempted to give him directions to my house. HA! The only way I know of is via the Turnpike, but it would be too far out of the way for him to travel all the way there. There IS another way to get here, but I don't know road names or ANYTHING! The way I remember places is by visualization--I remember the way the road twists, the landmarks, what each different road looks like. Helpful to me, but not to anyone else (until they figure out a way to allow two people to link minds). So he was laughing at me as I floundered with the stupid directions (and I'm still paranoid that I probably frustrated/irritated him, too).

He said something about not being able to see well at night, which isn't that uncommon a thing, especially around here where there are no street lights, but nonetheless it made me all that much more paranoid. Was he starting to make excuses, now, or was I just starting to go delusional? In the end, we both decided that he should just come up tomorrow. But Mom's going to be home sometime tomorrow afternoon or night, so who knows.

"Can I call you in...20 minutes if I change my mind?" he asked. I said yes, obviously--what else is there for me to do here by myself?--but I knew he wouldn't end up calling. And he didn't. He told me he'd call me either tomorrow morning or sometime around noon (which will probably turn out to be around 5 again).

I don't know. On the one hand, I'm glad he at least called. But I just don't know what to make of this guy! Why was he going to take his roommate with him? Did he even REALLY want to come up here??

After hanging up, I called Frank in the hopes of being able to talk to him, but I got his voicemail thing instead. When he called me back a little while later, he had absolutely no opinion to give me, which is odd. Usually, he always has an opinion.

Then Mom called while I was on the phone with Frank, so I clicked over and told her about what happened. All she did was laugh...then suggest that Geoff was gay. Oh yeah, and then she asked if I'd cleaned. UGH! Did I need that? NO! You'd think my own mother would have been sympathetic or helpful, y'know?

*sighs* Now I'm all depressed and confused, and I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. I haven't been imagining the fact that he possibly likes me, have I? WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST BE STRAIGHTFORWARD AND SAY IF THEY DON'T LIKE A PERSON?? For goodness' sake, I've made my liking of him obvious enough by now! Several people in the store have noticed! He can't possibly be more clueless than they!

Anyway, at least I know what I'm going to do right now. I'm going to go to bed. Sorry I didn't talk to anyone on AIM or MSN tonight...just hasn't been my day.