Today's rambling: When it rains...you get wet.
Written on June 29, 2001 at 1:41 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Just when I think that things are going well...I'm attacked with bad stuff!!!!

Yesterday, I was awoken (is that the right verb tense or whatever?) by the doorbell and my dogs barking crazily. Peeping out the window (without my glasses, which leaves me practically useless), I saw that it was the mailman, hopefully delivering some surprise package that I'd never ordered, but nonetheless contained something good. However, I was clad in my Disney jammies (mixed-and-matched Disney pajamas...the top was Mickey 'n Minnie, the shorts were gray with pink trim that said "princess")...ANYway, so I'm decked out in my unmatching glory, my hair's a tumbled mess, and I've got that sleepy face. But what the hell, it's just the mail person...and if it turns out to be a man, I just won't answer the door!

However, the delivery person was a woman, so I opened the door. After fending off my two absolutely ferocious lap dogs (they try to pretend they're big mean dogs, but as neither of them even reach my knees, they're really quite harmless), I opened the door and gave her my polite "How nice of you to stop by" smile. "Pardon my pajama-ed appearance!" I joked, and she laughed and replied, "Oh, it's okay! I'm sure I don't look to swell myself!" I wouldn't know, as I still didn't have my glasses on.

She spent several minutes trying to scan the Certified Mail codes with her handheld electronic gadget (the sun was incredibly bright, so she couldn't see the red lazer thing from the scanner), but then finally both envelopes were scanned. So she placed her handheld electronic gadget on the lawn chair beside her, handed me the letters, a small postcard-sized slip and a pen. I gave my usual messy signature, handed back the pen and slip, grinned and thanked her. She was about to walk away when these wise words left my mouth: "Waitta minute, you forgot your little beepy thing!" It's a good thing I noticed (despite my lack of corrective eyewear), because as she told me, she would have been fined thousands of dollars had she lost it. I, on the other hand, would have been having one hell of a fun time running around my house and trying to scan things.

But now we come to the inevitable bad part. As I tromped up the stairs to the kitchen, I looked at the fronts of the envelopes (they were identical). "GMAC Mortgage" was stamped on the front, and my heart just started pounding, because I knew what that name meant. And sure enough, as I opened the envelope addressed to Mum, I saw huge letters spelling out the words "How to save your home from foreclosure".

Ah, so being the big, strong, tough girl that I am, I naturally commenced sobbing rather loudly. My dogs, accustomed to hearing me cry, made sure to stay out of the kitchen while I had my little mini panic attack. I didn't stop until I felt a pain in my chest. Fearing that I was worrying myself into a heart attack, I abruptly stopped crying and stared blearily out the back door. Then it occurred to me that I might find help by writing to Dad (who, up to that point, had done nothing of any usefulness for either Mum or me).

The rest of yesterday was just kind of spoiled, though, as I'm sure it's easy to imagine. After emailing Dad, I looked around my usual websites, wrote out a few other messages, and signed off. I couldn't just sit there and dwell on the problem, though, so I brought my bike out of its long hibernation in the shed, filled the deflated tires with air, and went off for a nice, roughly-3-mile bike ride. It was hot outside. I went anyway, though, and when I came back I vaccuumed and skimmed the pool, then went for a swim. This is a measure of how badly I needed to relax, because you will never catch me in a bathing suit. But I was alone, and if the neighbors really felt like watching my flabby legs as I dipped into the pool, then more power to them.

Mum, having sensed that I would be doing nothing but moping, asked our neighbor to send Kathy and Amy to the house in an effort to cheer me up. At first I was irritated, because I didn't feel like talking to anyone, but it turned out to be a good thing because I was laughing and almost completely ignoring the ugly problem looming in the air. Of course, like all good things, this had to end, and they went home. I spiraled downward again, and pretty much moped for the rest of the night.

I was better today, but I'm still feeling a little mopeish (hence the reason for my "mopey" imood thinger). Janette helped me a lot, because she always does stuff to make me smile or laugh! Her entries (all 5 of them! *grins*) halfway made me want to cry (except for the one with the punch monkey, because that just had me doubled over laughing)! She's so sweet and caring, and I haven't had a friend like that in ages! Not that I hate my other friends, but I just don't have that same closeness with them, and while they might be concerned over my home problems, they wouldn't be that genuinely upset! And not that I want Janette to be upset (because really, that makes me feel bad!), but to know that she cares just gives me the warm fuzzies! ;)

Tomorrow Mum's making the 4-hour drive to Virginia, where her relatives live, and she's coming back on the same day with two of her brothers. We're installing an electric water heater because the gas version we've used since we had the house is just too expensive. We had some guy come out and make an estimate on how much the installation would cost, and he told us it would be $750 -- including the cost of the water heater itself, which would be another $200! Even if you aren't familiar with American money, let me just say that that's a LOT of money for people who don't have a lot to spend, LoL! So Mum asked her oldest brother (who's been doing plumbing work since he was 13) to come up and help, and he said yes. Why her second-oldest brother is coming up as well, I couldn't tell you. But I love him to death, so I'm thrilled that I'll see him! Hehehe...he's so sweet! He got all fired up when Mum told him she wouldn't accept any money from him. You have to know him to really understand how he is, but it was just too cute!

Speaking of cute, look at this!

A girl I used to work with was born on the same day as me (June 30th, whee!), and I was invited to what was supposed to be a surprise birthday party for her. I say 'supposed to be' because she made her friend tell her what was going on! Anyway, it's being held on the 29th (which is technically today, but I'm pretending it's still the 28th), but I don't want to go! I'm very selfish when it comes to my birthday! It probably comes from being an only child, so I'm just spoiled, but I want people to love ME on my special day! *silly grin* I know that's a terrible reason to want to skip someone's party, but honestly, besides that selfish reason, the only people I'll know will be Erin and Frank. I might know one or two other people, but for the most part they'll all be strangers and I'm too SHY to be around lots of strangers! And then there's the fact that this party is kind of more like a celebratory dinner, and I don't know why, but I HATE eating in front of people. When I go to eat-in restaurants, I pick the chair that puts my back to most or all of the other patrons...it's so weird, and I hate that I'm like that, but I just feel really awkward eating around other people! I don't mind with Mum, since, well, she's Mum, but other people....bleargh, I'm just an oddball.

At any rate, I'm ending this entry now! I had to get all that out, though...now I'm just feeling tired! :oP Gee, this thing is really kind of therapeutic! Even moreso than my real diary used to be, because for some reason, the fact that other people can see this just makes me feel like I'm actually spouting TO someone instead of at an inanimate object!