Today's rambling: The last night
Written on Friday, Aug. 23, 2002 at 1:47 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Well. Tonight's my last night sleeping in my own bed...for a few months, anyway. A part of me is so excited for this next step in my life, and yet most of me is sad and nervous and scared. I've felt like crying several times today...I couldn't even enjoy some of my favorite Moody Blues songs, because they were slow songs and it made me dwell on all the negative things (such as not being able to see my friends for a couple months, not being in my own bed at night, not getting to go out on the porch at night and chat with Mom)...

Mom said she'd heard something about a bus that makes trips to King of Prussia. If it's a weekend trip sort of thing, I might end up taking that bus every so often, and then Mom'll pick me up and I can spend a weekend home. Most likely, though, it'll end up being a one-day affair or something. Well, it's 5 hours of driving, so in a way it'd be kinda stupid to just make the bus trip a one-day thing. But with my luck, that's exactly what it'll be! :

I'm going to attempt to persuade Geoff, at some point, to drive out for a visit. *giggles* That would be SO great!

Off and on today, I've been gathering stuff together that I want to take with me. I didn't realize there'd be so much! I'm trying not to take a lot of frivolous stuff, but especially with this being my first time so far from home, I need to have a lot of familiarity! I had to force myself not to take too many stuffed animals, though. :P Mom kept telling me to "be practical", but I don't know what to take and what not to! With some of this stuff, I know I'm going to end up needing/wanting it at various points, so I can't leave it at home, useless as it might seem right now. By next year, I'll have more of an idea of what to take. I hope... ;)

Tomorrow, I've got a doctor's appointment at 12:30 pm. I have to get my meningitis vaccination. >_< It seems so odd to be terrified of a tiny little needle, but I am! No doubt I'll get so worked up that I'll start crying...I cry over just about everything! But I'm going to try to actually not let myself get nervous about it. I know nobody likes shots, but I've got entirely too many phobias. I should attempt to get over this one. And who knows, maybe they'll actually come out with that painless shot Casey told me about, and I won't HAVE to panic about vaccines anymore! *chuckles*

If this thing is anywhere NEAR as bad as my tetanus shot was, I'll never get another vaccination again. That tetanus shot hurt like nothing else, and I literally couldn't move my arm for the rest of the day! I don't even know why...the pain had spread out to my shoulder or something, and so every time I tried to move, it sent pain all through my arm. X_X I don't know if they're still that bad, since a good deal of time has passed between now and then...

I also have to get two form thingers filled out. One is for the Health Center at uni, and the other is so that I can take that stupid permit test again! One day, I will get my driver's license, because I'm certainly not going to go through the hassle of getting a physical every 3 years! Stupid DMV...Do you have to get a physical every 3 years after you get your driver's license? Why not? Do you somehow become immune to driving disabilities after you've acquired it? Most of the driver's on the road shouldn't even HAVE their license, because they CAN'T DRIVE. They're ignorant and rude...like people who drive while talking on their cell phones. THEY ought to have a physical every 3 years, because the radiation coming out of their phones has probably fried all their brain cells! One would certainly think so, watching those morons drive!

Heh...how did I get on that rant? Oh yeah, the physical form I need filled out. :P

I think I have everything together now. Well, there's some clothes in the dryer that I'll need to pack, and a few MORE items that need to be washed, but other than that, I think everything I need is out in the living room! I hope Mom doesn't start crying, or else I will break down. She's so happy that I'm doing this, but at the same time it's going to be hard for both of us. Still, after a couple of weeks or so, we should both be fine.

The money situation is another matter. $702.50 per month is what we have to pay, and since I'm the one with the highest credit limit, I had to charge it to my card. I've never had so much money charged on that thing in the entire time I've had it, and it's seriously stressing me out. Even though she said she'd help to pay it off, I know that she's going to have bills of her own to worry over. If we get too in-debt this year, I'm just going to drop out after the year is over. What else can I do? I'm not going to go overboard and take out so many loans that I'll never be able to pay them off. There's the possibility that, if I apply early enough, I'll get grants and things from FAFSA, but even that's not a guarantee. *sighs* I need to stop thinking about this depressing stuff.

Instead, I think I'll go finish the last of this laundry and then go to bed. It's after 1:30 in the morning, and yet it only feels like it's around 10 or 11 at night. I watched an episode of "Gidget" (with Sally Field) for the first time...she was so cute! ^_^ "The Flying Nun" came on afterward, but I didn't see anything spectacular about that show. Not that "Gidget" was all that much better, but I had fun watching it!

Alright, I'm going to post this and finish everything up for the night morning.