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Today's rambling: Let's play the insult game!
Written on Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005 at 8:30 p.m.
while feeling a bit
The current mood of Berry at www.imood.com

Just when you think it's winding down...

I've been IMing people to apologize for my explosion over at LJ...not the people who the message was intended for, but all the other people who got caught in the crossfire. I should've handled it more maturely than the one who started it, and simply contacted her directly instead of breathing fire on everyone in range.

So anyway, I IMed one girl tonight and apologized and said I hoped she didn't hate me, and she's fine (confused over everything, actually, hehe) but that she's probably one of the only people who DOESN'T hate me right now...and apparently, from what she said, other people are writing their own flames in their journals. At least they're proving my point, that journals are for VENTING. But I find it kinda funny that they'd have any reason to hate me. Angry, sure--after all, I wasn't exactly nice in my post. But at the same time, I wouldn't have even blown up if people had respected my request in the first place!

Jeebus. The thing with me is that when something like this happens, I explode, do what I say I'm going to do (in this case, cut off all the people who wanted it...and people who would've decided to get up in arms even though they had nothing to do with the situation)...and that's it. I know a couple of the people I deleted are the sort that like going back to a person's journal even after it happens, and find things to make fun of. I know, it's ever so classy. I'm the sort who, once you're cut out...you're gone. I'm not going to waste my energy thinking about you unless the subject is brought up, as it was tonight. THEN my frustration bubbles back.

I'm not worried so much about the fact that they're probably all saying how stupid that was and blah blah blah...I guess I'm more worried about personal attacks, like in their anger they'll start making fun of me and such. I know at least one person isn't above that, because I'm ashamed to admit I took part in making fun of someone with her. Well, I shouldn't say I'm completely ashamed, since the girl IS annoying (then again, ass-kissing usually IS annoying)...but I realize I shouldn't have done it. And I never did it in a public forum. But since all those guys are on a message board together...Well, what I don't know won't hurt me. If they wind up stooping that low, that's their problem, not mine. I know I'm a good person, and I have a major character flaw but who doesn't?

I guess I just find it funny (in a frustrated way) that anyone should be angry beyond my simply writing that vicious rant. I knew that would cause anger, but to go farther and act like I'm the one who's to blame for everything seems a little strange. All I asked was that people listen and not put their two cents in, and I was content to go on normally afterward. I was actually coming back to LJ that night to post some kind of anecdote from my day, when I saw Becca bitching about me in her own journal instead of confronting me directly about it. *rolls eyes* I will be glad when all this passes and I can just forget them entirely. I guess listeners and the Rachel Lynde types (since she had to throw in Anne references, I will too) just can't get along with each other!

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Thanks to Diaryland for the venting space!