Today's rambling: Wow. Internet people suck sometimes.
Written on Monday, Oct. 10, 2005 at 1:14 a.m.
while feeling a bit

Hopefully people have forgotten about this place now, since it's been such a long time since I've really updated. And if you followed me here from LJ...Seriously, just go away. I don't feel like creating a new journal just so I can rant without people I know seeing it, and this place was supposed to be private from those on LJ anyway. Well, unless you were here first and then went over to LJ.

Anyway...ugh. It all started earlier today, when I made a post in my LJ saying that unless I asked for advice, I really just didn't want any. I tried to be as nice as possible, though there was no reason for me to get snippy because it was an honest request. I guess I'm learning that online journals aren't simply venting devices, like their paper counterparts. I could make this whole thing completely private, but I like being able to publicly air things out. I prefer them to be aired out to people I don't know, so I don't have to worry about them passing judgment, but it's kind of therapeutic.

However, my request didn't get taken as calmly as I'd meant it to. It didn't seem such an off-the-wall request to me, simply because if someone else had said it to me, I would have understood immediately. Sometimes, you don't WANT people to try to help fix your problems. It's enough just to know that there is someone listening to you. I'm no good at ALL with advice, so when people come to me I just sit there and listen, and utter sympathies. Maybe that's irritating to other people, because in their minds when they share a problem, they want ideas on how to fix it. But that's not me. And someone decided to write an entry allllll about it.

Amusingly, she tried throwing in references to Anne Shirley (of "Anne of Green Gables"), using such quotes as "I will not be tainted by your bitterness." I'm quite sure that, had Anne been a real person, her imagination would have let her see that some people don't want advice at every turn. She certainly wouldn't have tried to call me bitter, because I'm not like Katherine, trying to bring everyone down. I didn't even phrase my request in an offensive way! Hell, I even emailed this girl to let her know that I really WASN'T trying to point a finger at anyone (because she freaks out about things ALL THE TIME), and that I do actually appreciate advice but only when I feel I need some.

The whole "give/don't give advice" problem started out of something that was probably so simple I might as well not have mentioned it. Actually, I wish I hadn't mentioned it and just came back to my dear old empty diary for the venting. But people kept telling me the same stuff, stuff I already knew but didn't want to individually reply and say so. So I made the mistake of posting one mass entry calmly explaining that I don't want anyone trying to fix this problem. I don't mind advice; in fact, when I'm having a huge problem, I welcome it (and have asked in several entries what people think...though much of the time I never got responses). Is it such a strange request not to want people to try and fix my problems? (rhetorical question, Diary.)

Anyway, besides the irrelevant Anne quotes she started going off about how basically it's so rude and callous and selfish to turn off the Comments feature, because why bother having people on your friends list if you don't want them to help? I can see the logic in the last bit, which was why I had planned on making another filter. However, it is perfectly within my right to rant on my own damn journal! I'm not going to make all my venting entries private (for the reasons mentioned before), simply because there are people who--understandably--don't want to hear it! Nobody's being forced to read my entries. I skip through half the people on my friends list over there.

I've just decided to lay low over there until everyone I deleted has also deleted me, so I can go back to a normal existence without all their drama. Actually, it was really only that one person; that I know of, no one else got all huffy about what I'd said. Then again, this girl's oversensitive on the best of days, and she's pregnant now so I'm sure she's an emotional mutant. I probably shouldn't have even given any thought to what she said, but holy hell! I've got enough stress in my REAL life without having someone go all batshit crazy on the Internet!

So there you have it, Diary. I'm back for awhile, and I realize now what a mistake it was to air anything even remotely private to people who don't understand what it means to listen and not speak. I appreciate that they care enough to say something (as I mentioned several times in my little request entry), and I understand WHY they'd want to butt in...But I wish my side of things could be understood as well.

The ironic part about all this? The advice I was being given over and over was "You're going to have to talk to your roommates and tell them why their actions upset you!" So when I try to do it online, I get all this crap. No wonder I cringe at the idea of trying to explain things to the people I live with!

(One last thing...If there IS anyone still reading this, I hope none of YOU will be offended that there's no feedback function on this diary right now. I might re-enable it later, but right now I'd really just like to have a place to vent...and since most people I used to know here have either migrated to LJ or disappeared, I feel safe coming back here. That doesn't mean you're not allowed to read, but I don't want anyone thinking I'm saying all this stuff just to get some kind of "OMG that person is so stupid!" kind of response. ;))