Today's rambling: What happened to the social butterfly?
Written on Friday, Jan. 14, 2005 at 5:05 p.m.
while feeling a bit

I have so much freakin' homework to do this weekend it's ridiculous. Someone make sure I do it, 'kay? Because I'm a procrastinator and inherently lazy, and I have a feeling I'll try putting it all off until the last minute. Not good.

I just added another class today, which brings me up to 18 credits. I'm praying that I'll have the strength to get through all these classes. I know some people can handle more than that, but I really don't care. I'm only concerned with what I can handle, and I'm not sure I'll be able to deal with 18 credits' worth. But I'm going to give it...wait for it...the old college try. *ba-dum chh!*

So now I have to read a chapter for two classes by Wednesday, plus find 2 advertisements within the same product category and...write something about them; read a chapter for French Film and also write out my response (in French) to the film clips we saw on Wednesday; read chapter 6 for this new class I got, then also write a one-page letter pretending I'm a Special Events Coordinator for a college in Pittsburgh...cripes, that alone is way too much for me! I should be working on it all right now, but I'm exhausted and just want to go to sleep. Yet I promised Karen I'd go to the bar with her tonight. I'm always excited about it the night I make the plans, and then usually the next day I'm too damn tired to want to deal with it!

My roommate has started becoming better friends with Kevin, who was my best friend back in my freshman year. We've both kinda grown apart by now...I mean, we still talk, but it's not like 'old times' (a whole 3 years ago). Those two didn't even think all that much of each other before, but now Kristen sees him more than I do, since they go to the same Christian-oriented events. I can't help feeling a little jealous...and a little hurt, in a silly way, that he really doesn't try to contact me anymore, unless we happen to see each other on campus. I'm not criticizing him, because I know he's got a social life totally separate from mine. It's just sad.

Speaking of social lives, I realized this morning how much mine has dwindled down. Freshman year, and even (to an extent) my sophomore year, I was really out there, meeting new people, and last year especially I felt...not popular, really, but practically every time I was out I was saying hi to people I passed. Now, I rarely see anyone, and it's just sort of bleh. It's my own fault; I've been in a depression most of the past 2 years, and that's reverted me back to my old ways of sitting alone in front of my computer during all my spare time. I wish I could go back to the way I was before, where I enjoyed going out and doing things like working for the TV station, going to PSP events, etc.

I might--emphasis on "might"--be going back to the radio station, ironically, depending on whether I could get a shift. I'm SO freaking excited, because the whole system down there is computerized now. All the songs are on a computer, instead of CDs like before, and if you can't make your show? No problem, just program your playlist into it and it'll do an auto show for you! Dude, I WANT TO TRY THIS!!! I'm not very good at DJing, but it was more a need to practice than anything else. All my childhood performance-love comes out when I'm in the DJ booth, because I have no one looking at me, and if someone's making fun of what I say...well, I wouldn't know, since I can't see 'em. LOL So yeah, I'd kinda like to get a Sunday shift, so I could take over for the DJ who did the Oldies show. He graduated last year, I think, though I don't know if it was in fall or spring. I'd love to do an Oldies/Classic Rock thing. That would be freakin' AWESOME.

Oo, it's 5 o'clock, which means it's dinnertime. Which means, since Kristen told me I could have it, that I can eat that last piece of cornflake chicken. Oh man, I have to get that recipe off of her before the end of the year, because I LOVE that stuff.